“Show me their faces. I wanna see them.” As I laid in bed, tears streaming down my cheeks, I closed my eyes but saw beautiful faces as clear and bright as if they were in the room with me. Round faced babies; toothy-grinned kiddos; uncertain, shy young women; a laughing young teen boy. Their skin tones, hairstyles, and clothing varied, but I was enamored and captivated by every one of them. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest and the tears kept flowing as I prayed for God’s love to flood each precious soul that He showed me.
The faces of the people I will meet around the world.
I might sound crazy, but here is a fact to prove that I am not as crazy as you think. Feel free to fact check me and look it up for yourself.
Our human brains cannot create faces that we have not already seen with our own eyes. That’s why when we dream, faces are blurry of those we don’t really “know,” but you can always recognize those you already know. These faces that were revealed to me are real people with real lives and stories.
Since seeing them, I have not been the same.
I feel so unworthy of this upcoming adventure that is just two weeks away. Why would God choose to use me? I’m a giant, crazy, worrisome mess most days. I am selfish, timid, and terrified of what is ahead. What 25-almost-26-year-old in her right mind would give up everything to live out of a backpack with nothing to her name? These thoughts have run me down over the last two months since returning from training camp.
But those faces.
That moment when I came to my Father with nothing to offer but my own issues, and He showed me their faces. A glimpse into what is coming. It’s not about me, or how capable, worthy, or prepared I am (or am not). It’s about abiding so closely to His heart that I can’t see anything else but the love He has for each person He brings my way.
So here I go. Two weeks from today, life as I know it will no longer exist. No job, no house, no car, no closet full of clothes. That freaks me out more than I can express! But I am propelled forward by the beauty and love the Lord revealed to me in the faces of those I undoubtedly believe I will meet, embrace, and share life with over the next 11 months.
Sweet faces, I’ll see y’all again real soon.
