I was talking to my mom this morning about needing to write a new blog but not having any thoughts on what to write. She suggested that I write about how I am getting ready to start some of my goodbyes. I leave work in 62 days and three days after that I make the long ride to my sisters to get hugs and kisses to last me a year from my two beautiful nephews. At first when she recommended this topic I thought “no way.” I had no intention of talking about the goodbyes.
However, the more I thought about it the more I realize just how much I avoid goodbyes. My friends have been telling me for months that I never say bye when I leave a room; apparently I just leave. I don’t have some sad story about why I don’t like to say goodbye to people, but somehow over time I have gotten in the habit of never saying goodbye.
I realize that as time continues to slip away goodbyes are on the horizon and I can feel myself avoiding the thought of them. Leaving for a year to answer God’s call to the mission field is a mountain all its own, but there are so many steps up to that mountain that I didn’t think about when I signed up for the Race. I would like to say that as the goodbyes come closer, and now that I realize I avoid them, I am now saying “bring them on” but I’m not. I know that these goodbyes will be the hardest I have ever had to say and on this journey I will be forced to say many more. I am not ready, but now that I have accepted they are coming I can work to make them more manageable.
“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh
Philippians 3:12-14 (ESV)
12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
