“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, FIXING OUR EYES ON JESUS, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
Hebrews 12:1-3
This has been my theme verse since the middle of February. Oh Jesus has much to teach me about this. Everything about these three verses is true and so very comforting. I have been so incredibly blessed with a great cloud of witnesses. I have incredible family, friends, and squadmates who only want to cheer me on no matter the state my heart is in. They are truly a gift from God. I think about how God orchestrates the people that He puts in our lives and it is amazing to me that He cares about those details and gives us encouragement when we least expect it.
If I am being honest with myself and you, in the last couple weeks, I have taken my eyes off of Jesus and put them on everything around me. Choosing to do life the way that I wanted. Pursuing things that I know are not good for me. One of my squadmates has been quick to remind me that we take steps. Even if they are baby steps to becoming more like Christ. We are not going to have it all together to fix our problems in a day. Doesn’t work like that, although, I wish it did. It is a process. We are running a race. We are not sprinting. Sprinting is what I feel like I have to do sometimes. But that is not what God wants. He wants us to fix our eyes on Jesus and run with perseverance. The only way that I can throw off all of the distractions and the sin that so easily entangles and run with perseverance is by FIXING my eyes on Jesus. When you fix something, you don’t expect it to be broken an hour later do you? That defeats the whole purpose of fixing it to begin with. If something is broken, it is not working to its fullest capacity. The same is true when my eyes are not fixed on Jesus. If I fix my eyes on Jesus on Monday morning at 6 am and then not again until Saturday, I can expect that around 9 am on Monday when my students are trying my patience and I am not responding with the love that I should be, my eyes may not be fixed completely on Jesus and they sure as heck aren’t going to be fixed on Him on Saturday morning if Monday is the last time I did it, which mean I have broken my gaze on Him. I think that for me, fixing my eyes is going to be an hourly or even minute by minute thing. One minute, I am all like “Yay Jesus…we’re great” and the next minute “What am I doing/thinking?” Okay, maybe not minute by minute, but sometimes it feels that way. Thank You Jesus for grace. I am ever so grateful that He has gone before me and knows what I am going through and reminds me constantly where my eyes needs to be fixed.
One of the biggest distractions I have had is my busyness. I think that is Satan’s number one tatic for me right now. I become busy, sometimes too busy to pray or dig into the Word and then I let one day become two and so on. Then it tends to be downhill from there. My eyes aren’t fixed on Jesus when this happens, they are fixed on all my problems and only what I can see. I have a very limited perspecitve sometimes when it comes to things in my life. I don’t see the big picture and I don’t think I was ever meant to completely see it, which is why I need Jesus. I begin to believe the lies that I am not good enough or pretty enough or whatever enough. Am I really sure that I can do this thing for 11 months? I am tempted and fall and them I am reminded that He is the perfecter of my faith, I am not. I cannot do it on my own. Jesus is the one who is constantly changing me into who He wants me to be. Some days I am taking baby steps and other days, giant steps toward who I am designed to be. Some days it means two steps forward and one step back. All the while knowing that Jesus is right there with me through the process even in the moments that I cannot feel him.
So everyday, I will fix my eyes on Jesus with an unbroken gaze and run my race with perseverance throwing off my distractions and things that hinder as well as the sin that entangles, because Jesus is with me and He is for me and He loves me and to believe anything else would be a lie from Satan.
