God is so cool! He sent His only son to die on the cross for us and forgives us for our sins. I have to say that is a pretty amazing God. He loves us and accepts us and meets us where we are at no matter what. He takes care of us, His children, and has this amazing future for us. I do not know about you, but I am so excited to see this future God has called me to because I have seen Him work in the lives around me and through mine and He said, “for I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope”. He promised this to us and He knows where He is taking us and I am so ready to share that knowledge with the world.
Growing up I thought I was too messy, too lost for Him to even seek after me, but boy was I very wrong. God can do anything if He really wanted to and He wanted to radically change my life. He threw my life through a whirlwind and at first I was depressed and lost and living everyday like it did not matter anymore. I was living at home, not going to college, working for my grandfather, sleeping all the time, and Netflix became my best friend. I put on a brave face and acted like my life was perfect. It was nowhere near perfect, but I was too ashamed to share that with anyone. I thought that if I suppressed my feelings long enough they will just fade away. I thought that if I filled my life with friends and shopping and worldly things I would be happier. I told myself that I was leaving soon to embark on this amazing three month journey and I will deal with it then. Obviously that came to haunt me because God does not care about your timing because He has His own timing for us and the things/people He places in our life.
While on this journey I have learned so much about myself and it has been life changing. I am not going to lie to you and say it was always filled with laughter and smiles and good times, there were tears and times I felt lonely and wanted to call quits on this whole thing. But God reminded me that we signed up to live like Jesus and walk like Him. In 1 John 2:6 it says, “whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.” This was a good reminder to me that no matter what I am going through, Jesus went through worse. I can get through anything because I have the love and sacrifice from Him living in me and providing strength for me each day to wake up in the morning and keep moving forward.
As I transition home, I know it will be hard at times and I will have to fight for a healthy community, my relationship with the Trinity, being present, giving grace to others while also giving myself grace, and patience with the people around me who put in the time to try and understand what I have heard, seen, and been through the past couple months.
I have loved my time here in Cambodia and Thailand and would not want to change these past three months for anything but it is finally time to come home and face reality once again. I have built so many strong, real, and amazing friendships here and hope to carry them home with me. Thank you to everyone who supported me on this trip and to all the people who continually pour into me and love on me. I am so excited to see you all and if anyone wants to talk or get coffee you know how to contact me. See you guys soon!
With love,
Alyse
