What makes sense to me may not make sense to you. What you may think is weird is perfectly normal. What you think is sad is my everyday life. Living in the streets, begging, hoping that someone would be so kind as to give me some water, their spare change or even a simple prayer. But, what do I get? I get
weird looks, I get scoffed at or just completely ignored.
“Look at me” is what I scream in my head, “help me” is what I cry but no one hears me. For here I am stuck in this darkness that is cold and harsh. All I want is to know what it is like to be loved on; to feel like I am cared for, for just one small moment to give me hope.
So what is hope to these people who live on the streets and fight for their life every single day? Hope to them may seem fleeting and as if it does not truly exist but in all actuality it is what keeps them holding on. Then I stop and ask myself how can someone who has nothing find joy and hope in every situation? I pause and say why do I feel like then hope is always fleeting from me when I have everything?
Hope is one of those intangibles. It’s something we cannot live without but at the same time we can’t put our finger on it. It’s not really a feeling, but it’s not entirely a decision or act of will either. It exists somewhere in the middle. Somewhere in the human fiber that is both essential, but yet indefinable.
We have all heard of the stories of people in extreme circumstances that have died when their expectation for rescue had been taken away, or person who passed away, not for any medical reason, but from a broken heart. I think hope is at the center of this. It beats within our heart like a living thing, ingrained in the very muscles and nerves of our physical body. It drives us, it moves us, it makes us, us. It exists at the center of who we are, around which the rest of us revolves like planets around the sun. It is the cornerstone of our personal universe, and as such, tells us much about ourselves and the human condition.
Because so much of our personal happiness and self satisfaction springs from where our hope is grounded, it would follow that to put our hope into something temporary would be foolish and almost unimaginable for intelligent and rational creatures such as ourselves. But, this is exactly where we find ourselves a lot of the time; hoping in our money, our house, our education, our talents, or even our football team. In the back of our minds, I think we all have an awareness of how ridiculous this is. To cement such an important thing like hope on objects that shifts and slides is borderline insane, yet here we are living for our paycheck, or our success, or our new clothes; or whatever else we think will make us happy. You fill in the blank, you know what it is for you.
In Ecclesiastes, Solomon talks about how everything is meaningless without God and that it is like the wind, fleeting, and always just beyond our grasp. We can chase after the wind that we can never catch, or we can turn down a different path and see that what we have been searching for and seeking after rather is light, our flashlight, our ultimate hope. I took the wind to be the world and so many times when I have chased after the things of this world, I have been let down and left in the dark. But then when I chased after the light (God), I found and am finding that my life is so much better and less chaotic. Rather than chasing after the wind we need to begin to chase after the light. You have a choice. God is coming in your direction and it’s your choice to accept Him or not.
That’s what I’m trying to remember as I pour out my love and prayers for the people I’ve been building relationships with here in Thailand; that I can only share the hope that I have and then it is their choice to choose to accept it or not.
To be wanted, to belong, and to be accepted are all things that I think that we seek after in this world. Here is the thing that I most often forget, and that is God doesn’t need me, but He wants me. I find such great hope that I am accepted, beloved, and wanted by a God who, despite my failures, still loves me.
It’s with the transformational power of God we can see what He has done through love not just for me but for the entire world. We are seen as valuable to Him no matter what we may be doing now, what we have done, or what we will do. God’s grace is that good that we have already been forgiven.
Here is the kicker, there is nothing that I can do that will change me because I am a sinner. However, if I am fully dependent on Jesus to change me then I am transformed to the likeness of Him. So why not accept God who is always loving, holy, fair, kind, good, and pure? Why not accept the God who has already accepted you and is chasing after you despite all your faults? Why not accept the God who is the hope, the eternal salvation, and the light of the world?
My prayer for Thailand is that people would choose hope and accept the eternal salvation that is offered to them. To bring a love light to a place that has been in the dark for so long, trapped in an uncontrollable circle that seems to never end. To place hope in eternal rather than temporary and to let the light shine in the darkness.
