Wounds. The things that often times we either stich up or just slap a bandage on it and call it good. When we were little we asked for someone to “kiss it better,” been told to “walk it off”, or to just “rub some dirt on it, you’ll be fine.” Not quite the sympathy we had been looking for, but hey, it’s better than nothing. These wounds heal with time, sometimes leaving a scar behind, but the surface wounds are the ones that we can clearly see and take care of right away, or choose not to, depending on who you are. Yet, I am not going to be talking about the surface wounds. I want to talk about the deeper wounds. The ones we don’t like to talk about for fear of exposing ourselves too much.
Except, that’s needed. Exposure. Why though? Why would and/or should we choose to expose ourselves to people, to bring out the deepest hurts from our pasts? No one really wants to talk about them. No one really wants to bring them back up. And with good reason, I’m sure. Perhaps it’s too painful of a memory, or they don’t want to deal with the emotions. It’s seen as weak and childish. But, you know what? It’s not. It’s not too painful, the emotions aren’t too crappy to deal with, and it’s never weak or seen as childish to get healing from a lie that has taken over your life, whether you know it or not. And the awesome part is that it’s never too late to start.
Personally, I’m tired of letting my wounds control my life. I’m tired of letting my fear of getting hurt or becoming more damaged stop me from living the full life I have always been meant to live. Aren’t you? I know I’m tired of being hesitant in certain situations because of the whispers of the wound saying to me, “Don’t say that you’ll expose yourself too much” or, “That’s too vulnerable” and even, “Stop loving him/her that way you know you’re only going to get hurt in the end.” That last one, I’m really sick of. I have been called to love with passion and purpose, to love unconditionally, extending grace, and ultimately show Christ’s love to those around me I’m tired of allowing myself to fall prey to the lie that if I love someone out of a genuine place, they are going to run.
That right there is my wound. People running. They run without explanation, or reason, while 24 hours before nothing seemed to be wrong. I thought, at least, that was my wound. But it goes deeper than that. People running is merely the surface, the start of it. The deeper I go the deeper I find the true wound, the true lie, which is feeling not worthy enough. For if I was deemed worthy enough, then wouldn’t people stop running? Wouldn’t they choose to stay? Then I realize they have a wound just like I do. They have a deep hurt that is telling them, to “Run, get out while you can. If you run now, you’ll be safe.” Yet that’s just another lie. They won’t be safe and nor will I. Yes, there are times where it’s a good choice to walk away from a friendship, relationship, or lifestyle because you see it isn’t healthy for you or the individual. But, when the friendship, relationship, or lifestyle is good, why would you leave it? Why try to escape it? I think most of the time it’s because we all have deemed ourselves as not worthy, not enough, not truly wanted. Except you and I are deemed worthy and enough! Yet, why can’t you or I seem to truly believe it? Why can’t we seem to stop this wound? It’s because we weren’t meant to. None of us were meant to have these deep wounds to try and heal ourselves. Here we are though, trying to fight the cyclical cycle of our wounds.
Yet, can’t we break it? Can’t we finally come to a point where we can stop this cycle from happening? I believe we can and it all starts with a choice. The choice to stop hiding and be brave enough to say, “I’m wounded, I’ve been hurt, and I’m ready to stop.” By doing that you are willingly and freely stepping out of the shadows and into the light. The enemy, the prince of this world, wants you to stay hidden. He wants those wounds, those past hurts, to be kept secret because that’s where he has you and has had you for far too long. I believe the seed of this disention and battle between what God says we are and what we deem ourselves to be was planted back in Eden when God had Adam and Eve leave. That’s when the enemy whispered those lies of, “You see, even the One who created you, doesn’t want you. He would never truly fight for you.”
Except, He has been fighting, He has been fighting for you and me since the very first bite of that dreaded fruit. He has been writing the greatest redemption story and has been fighting for you and so that we can come back into His presence. That’s why He sent His Son to die for us, so that there would be no more separation between us and Him. He so desperately wants us to understand just how wanted, desired, and deemed worthy we are. To say, “I’m not enough” is a mockery of the cross. One of the greatest acts of courage is to not only love others, but to love yourself. Can you truly say that you love you? If so, then let yourself be known, and to admit where you are at and see yourself the way Jesus sees you. You teach people how they can treat you by the way you treat yourself. Your words can cut down or they can build up.
We each have stuff in our past that has given us a message that we are constantly trying to prove wrong, yet deep down inside we believe it. There is a reason we are holding onto a particular lie. We have to make a choice: to keep on believing the lie, or to believe the truth of what Christ has told us. You and I don’t have to be chained to that lie from our past because we have the living and active God inside of us! The only way back from that dark and shameful place is to risk everything, drop the fig leaves, and walk back towards God. Then everything that is right and true will bring what once was hidden into the light. There is more than enough amazing grace. There is more than enough amazing love to protect you. Anytime you are trying to make adjustments in your life, it’s scary and daunting, but it’s worth it.
I want to leave you with these questions: What is the wound that has festered in your life? What is a lie that you’ve accepted about yourself and how is that now impacting you and the relationships around you? If you could get that lie out of your mind, body, and soul, would it change anything? Then finally, what could be more important than breaking the chains of lies upon your life?
