Almost three years ago I sat here. I sat in the middle of the airport waiting to be picked up from training camp for the World Race. I remember being one of the first ones to show up from any of the squads that would be there. Slowly people arrived, one by one until there was a large group of us dressed in red, green, orange, and blue; I’m fairly confident we looked like a bunch of loonies to people as they walked on by.
Today I sit almost in the exact same place that this journey first started. I think of the things that have happened since that point in time. I remember the ways in which God has transformed my life and the people He has so beautifully interwoven into it. The ups and downs of the past three years, and the all too familiar question comes up of “how in the world did I get here?”
I just got back from a little get-away trip to Wisconsin where I went and visited two of my squadmates. During my time with them it honestly felt like time hadn’t passed, that we were still on this journey together, just not seeing each other as consistently. But, Alli still had her nail kit and tweezers at the ready. Jake still walked on his toes and still has the same Mountain Dew bottle he got in China month one of the race. Yet, I also see the ways in which the Lord has been working and moving in their lives. I see the way in which they are going after the Father’s heart more and listening to His promptings, resting when He says to rest and going when He says to go.
Its beautiful really. Getting to see these two again, Alli was on my team all eleven months and Jake for eight months of the race. Remembering the things that happened, sharing the moments and memories highlighted from the race. But, I think what strikes me the most is the way in which we still are comfortable to be ourselves around each other. To be goofy, to be quiet, to invite each other into where we are at. That is rare in my mind, namely as I currently look out into the crowed that is around me. I see people traveling together, but sucked into the virtual world more than the one that is around them. I see the desire written on their faces for someone to just get to know them. But then the bigger question becomes, will they let someone really get to know them?
Alli, Jake, and I can all tell you that we each had to go through a process of letting our walls down, to trust, be vulnerable and to truly allow people into our story. We each had to learn what it looked like to pursue one another, and in the midst of it invite people into where we were at too. It’s a two way street, for how can you ever expect anyone to share their story and their heart when you aren’t willing to go to the same places? Just as “it takes two to tango” it takes two people who decide to let down the walls of fear and shame and step into boldness of who they are, and who Christ has called them to be! Often times though, we get trapped in the fear and shame of failure.
Failure isn’t bad it’s really an opportunity for redemption. To say that “I am not enough” is a mockery of the cross. Because of the cross we can be secure in our identity because He says we are secure in Him. When we choose to fall prey to shame and fear, we lose sight that we are perfectly and wonderfully made in the image of our Creator. The cross is set before you. Who’s voice are you listening to, the One who created you, or the critics? There will always be critics in your life. Yet the funny thing is that the critics are the ones who aren’t living because they don’t know themselves and what it means to truly live. Why do you think they like to point out every flaw, mistake, or “wrong turn” you make?
The way you live is through experience and the best way you can experience, I believe, is through the valleys and mountain tops, and sharing those moments with others. For in those stories you know you’re alive. It allows others to see into those moments and believe. For you don’t believe because you understand, you believe because of faith.
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible” (Hebrews 11:1-3).
When you believe in something you voice it, your voice is powerful, your words even to yourself, either build up or tear down. For what you believe about yourself you also become. Honestly, as I keep sitting here I realize that I had to get over myself and stop thinking that one day “its going to get better.” I want to go over to this married couple who I see is struggling with openness and vulnerability and say “It’s time to stop thinking of the greener grass on the other side and start watering the dirt that’s directly in front of you! And the dirt sure isn’t going to get watered when you stay inside, hidden.” Creation is eagerly awaiting for us, and to put it bluntly it’s time to get over ourselves!
“For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.” (Romans 8:19)
P.S. I decided that I’m going to talk to the married couple by me, I’ll let you know how it turns out…
