I am so happy right now! The joy that is welled up inside of me can only be explained by GOD! He is so so good to me!
BUT…
For the last few weeks I had been a bit down, moody, and feeling hopeless.
Going on seven years now I have struggled with an eating disorder that has a very depressing affect. My struggle has been an up and down battle. Recently it has been down. I knew I was failing my Lord and grieving the Holy Spirit inside of me, but that knowledge, for a while, only brought depression, rather then the needed conviction and repentance.
A couple nights ago I was so low down and disgusted with myself, that I finally cried out to God and begged Him to bring on the much needed conviction.
I so badly wanted to be beautiful in His eyes, and forget about what this world thinks.
I was so tired of listening to the devil tell me I was worthless, fat, and ugly. I was done with believing his crippling lies that God couldn’t use a messed up, pitiful, and sinful one such as I.
My heavenly Father (as always) was faithful to bring conviction and also comfort me and remind me of His love, and power! I was broken and finally willing to do WHATEVER it took to please my King and end this destructive pattern in my life.
Have you ever been at that place where you feel like there is no escape? I had been stuck for soo long that I thought there was no hope of ever completely being free! But NOO those thoughts were planted in my brain by the devil, and he is a lier!!
These are the words that I muttered to myself under my breath a few nights ago: “Alysa, you are an miserable FAILURE”. And these are the words that my Jesus lovingly spoke back to me: “That’s why I am a wonderful SAVIOR”!
Friend, let me tell you THERE IS A WAY OUT and his name is JESUS!
God was reminding me that I had been washed by the blood of Jesus, and I HAVE been set free from sin.
The only prison I could find myself stuck in would be one of my own making. Jesus had already smashed the chains of sin that once held me captive. I could only be trapped if I refused to believe in the way out that Jesus had made for me. The way out is simple trust in HIS strength, NOT MY OWN.
Jesus HAS paid the price, he HAS made the way, and he HAS opened the door, YOU ARE FREE! Sin has no more power over you! Amen to that!
“Romans 6:22 But now being made FREE from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.”
Doesn’t that fill you with hope?
“1Corinthians 15:55-57 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Isn’t that such a wonderful truth?
“Isaiah 54:17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and THEIR RIGHTEOUSNESS IS OF ME, saith the LORD.
Oh, what a joyful promise!
We all have our personal struggles, but no matter what your weakness is we all have the same powerful, loving, Savior!
Call your sin what it is and then boldly proclaim “I am not a ….” I am a blood washed, sanctified, justified, member of the body of Christ, daughter of the King Most High, and beloved bride of Christ! (1Corinthians 6:11) That is who I am! And my sins are gone, my name is cleared, my robes are white and my hope is Christ! Jesus is my righteousness and I am forgiven and clean!
I can relate with Mary Magdalene, I know that I deserve NONE of these blessings and NONE of the forgiveness and righteousness that is applied to my account. Apart from Christ I am a great sinner, but knowing that I have a greater savior has filled me with soo much more love! (Luke 7:47, 1John 4:19)
“Psalms 102:18-20 This shall be written for the generation to come: and the people which shall be created shall praise the LORD. For he hath looked down from the height of his sanctuary; from heaven did the LORD behold the earth; To hear the groaning of the prisoner; to loose those that are appointed to death.”
So yes, I am filled with a peace and joy that does pass all understanding! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE my Jesus, and cannot get enough of Him or do enough for Him!
Keep me in your prayers, and remember with me that no sin is too big for God to fix! He is looking for humble, pliable hearts that are willing to trust Him and endure the pain as He chips away the junk to fashion something BEAUTIFUL!
All the glory goes to Jesus! =) <3
