Now, don’t mistake this teaching as preaching, I haven’t yet fully mastered this, I’m still learning. A teacher always has much to learn.
In the Bible God commands us to love Him above all else, but also to love thy neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-39).
This is something that is important in the life of a Christian, God says others will know His people by the way we love each other (John 13:34-35).
However, it doesn’t seem to be that easy. Everyone isn’t always easy to get along with and sometimes that person is ourselves believe it or not.
God has given me this scripture to meditate on when I find myself struggling to live my neighbor; 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbora]” and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:43-48.
I had a Pastor once share this type of sermon and he said something that stood out to me. He said don’t love me like yourself because some of you don’t love yourselves. He said I need you to love me like God loves me.
When I heard that, I was like AMEN … PREACH! But also, I found myself pondering on the harsh reality of that statement.
I began to dig deeper into what God was saying about this matter. He said to love Him and then to love our neighbor as ourselves, but Pastor was right, some of us don’t love ourselves, so then how do we love others? Some of us don’t actually even know God’s love to love others the way He loves them, so again how do we love others?
As God highlighted this teaching to me, I began to question Him. God why that? I tend to struggle with that. I am not the type to talk about things when I am struggling with it, but more willing I have overcome it. Then God showed me that teachers best teach when they themselves are learning.
I struggled to get along with one of my teammates off and on during the past few months. I try to love her, but I find myself getting frustrated with her for things like having her stuff all over the place or always being afraid of everything. I am a very organized person and pretty tough if you will. I like to live a faith over type of lifestyle, so it would seem obvious why or how those things bother me.
Unfortunately, things aren’t always as they seem, usually there is something deeper that doesn’t necessarily appear on the surface.
God revealed to me something different than expected; the root cause of what the problem really is. I have in fact been loving her the way I love myself. The way we treat others is not a reflection of them, but instead it is a reflection of ourselves.
I am a perfectionist to a fault sometimes, I may seem nice and orderly on the outside and it seems to the naked eye that I have everything in order, but God knows our hearts. (Psalm 139:1-4)
We can’t escape the Father and we can’t hide anything from Him either.
On the inside, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally sometimes I am over the place and I have fears that are buried deep within. Many people may not know that because of the order I try to keep in my life or because my fear with letting people in, but the few close to me in life have seen me operate out of my pain and fear.
As a result of my perfectionist mindset or my fear of failure, I tend to beat myself up when I make mistakes or when I am not where I think I should be in terms of growth. When I do this to myself, my things internally end up all over the place.
So the thing is that I have been loving her the way I love myself. I see her imperfections and fears just as I see mine and I criticize her for them just like I do to myself.
When God said to love our neighbor as ourselves that isn’t the way He meant it. The Word says, we love each other because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
So when God is commanding us to love Him, He is asking us to love Him with the love He first gave us to love with and then to take that love for ourselves to share it with those around us.
John 4:20-21 “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”
Maybe you’re like me and you’re still wondering well how does God love me? What does it look like to love myself with His love? And how do I use that love to love others?
Well … Let’s dive into the Word
- John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
- Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poorand give over my body to hardship that I may boast,b]” data-reader-unique-id=”455″>[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.”
- 1 Corinthians 14:1 “Let love be your highest goal.”
After diving into the Word we must then use practical application.
Anything God says in His Word He will supply for us all we need to do is ask. In John 4:2 it says you have not because you ask not. After God has supplied the necessary knowledge we then have to apply it to our lives. John 13:17 says “Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.”
Loving ourselves looks like taking every negative thought captive and seeing it as the lie that it is and choosing to speak life over it. It looks like accepting who God created us to be and doing the same for others.
Loving her was putting my pride to the side, admitting I was wrong, apologizing and also accepting her apologies. It was sharing my heart, the good and the bad, speaking the truth in love. Seeing the obstacles but intentionally choosing to get through them to love her the way God called me to.
Love is pushing through even when the ability to like isn’t present. Love is not looking past people’s faults, instead it is seeing them and extending grace especially after taking a long glance in the mirror and remembering the grace God extended us in our short comings. Love is getting in the mess with them and walking through it, not leaving them alone in it. Love is seeking understanding instead of making assumptions because we know what they say about assuming. Love is following the example Christ gave us. Jesus was more than aware that Judas was going to betray Him, yet He still shared His last meal with him and still died on the cross for him. That’s love, real, true, pure love, something we can learn a thing or two from.
This is a daily process of intentionality. Somethings comes easy and organically in life and other things we have to try hard at. Just because it is hard doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it.
Our faith is like a muscle, but we all know working out isn’t always easy even for those that find pleasure in it. It takes discipline and focus. While working out it is a literal process of breaking down your muscles, applying the correct nutrition and watching them grow.
Most people don’t take in the fact that the nutrition is one of the biggest growth factors in that equation and therefore find themselves on a hamster wheel with little to no progress.
Here, that nutrition is the Word of God. We can try to be nice to people and do all the things we think we should do, but if we fail to feed ourselves with the Word of God, we will surely fall short in our progress. Matthew 4:4 explains that Man cannot live on bread alone but every word that comes from the mouth of God.
Just like our muscles, it is okay to be broken in front of the Father, because He will welcome you into His love and His love is the very foundation we can rebuild upon.
When we realize it is our differences that make us stronger, we will start treating them as strengths instead of weaknesses. God created us to be individuals, no two persons are the same, so we ought to value others the way we should value ourselves.
I believe God takes this very serious and that is why he stated, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift” in Matthew 5:23-24. So, instead of running from it or avoiding it, we should recognize it and face it.
So today, I want to charge you to look at how you love yourself, realize how God loves you, shift your reality to align with the truth and love others from that place. It will be a process and it will take work but Jesus died for all of us, so just like God thought you and I were worth it, He so thinks everyone else is also. That is the place we have to see others from.
