This month I find myself in somewhat of a weird place. I am here, but maybe I am not as present as I could be. I find myself missing home, but also not longing to be there. Last month we didn’t really have wifi and it made space and created opportunity for me to dig deeper into things, we also worked A LOT, so distractions didn’t have much room. This month is the opposite, we have had a regular access to wifi and quite a bit of time on our hands.
In an effort to escape the fact that 15 of us are living on top of each other in extreme heat, I find myself running to the nearest place with AC and wifi only to be distracted by weak efforts to connect with people back home or roaming aimlessly on social media and realizing how disconnected I am from everything.
It has been causing me to think a lot about a lot of things and my conclusion is that I need to stir myself up, I need to dig into all that I am and the reason I am here. I need to seek and focus on God more and to shift my mind and heart to be set on things above.
I didn’t have many expectations about what this mission trip would be, but what I knew forsure is that it would be about the people I am sent to, the people back home and reading this blog and me. I thought maybe it would be less about me, but I realize even more that to be a vessel, you have to be cleaned continuously. I am constantly being stripped of my former self in new ways to be a free flowing vessel for the Lord. The process isn’t that comfortable, but I don’t expect it to be. I am here for it.
I know that prayers aren’t to be used as an excuse to be lazy, so I have decided to work with the Father to help me through the things I am facing this month. No, the battle isn’t mine, it is the Lord’s, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have to show up for it. So, I am putting everything to the side and investing all of my time to dig, dig deeper in the Father and all He has for me this season.
I also, found myself getting anxious about fundrasing. I am $5,716 away from being fully funded. That is a small amount considering my over all goal is $19,900 and I am already 70% of the way there. For me it has been more about the amount verses the time frame. Every other goal was less money with more time and this one is more money with less time.
I know that God is my provider, but I have faced moments of worry and doubt. Last month was nearly impossible to fundraise with the lack of wifi, so the few posts I was able to make helped some, but I still have quite a bit to go and less than two weeks to reach it.
I have prayed about it and decided that I stepped out in radical faith that led me to the race, I stepped out in radical faith to come on the race, so it is time for me to step out in radical faith for funding. I have seen that in my own power I am more than limited, but God isn’t. So, because I am disconnecting, I won’t be able to fundraise. I am putting it all in the Father’s hands and have decided to fight fear with faith.
Please join me in prayer for the next two weeks as I pray for focus and funding. Also, if you feel led to donate you can do so above for a tax-deductible donation or through Cash App ($AlyciaMathis) or Venmo (@Alycia-Mathis). I thank you in advance for all of your support prayerfully and finacially. Another way to support would be to share this post or spread the word.
I appreciate you all and I pray that you are seeking the Father. Jeremiah 29:13 says “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart.” So, I pray you would devote all of your heart to searching for the Father, because He is closer than you realize and to find Him is to find life. “Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know Him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in the early spring”. Hosea 6:3
Like my guy here said, Peace 🙂
