I think that a lot of World Racers and people in general struggle with the idea of making a difference. They may feel inadequate or that their time spent somewhere was worthless. Did they really help someone or were they really a blessing? For us here in Gisborne, it is difficult to see things…..to see change. Every morning I pray that God will use me that day and will give me vision for what needs done.
In a place surrounded by mountains and pristine beaches; where beautiful purple and white flowers grow naturally on the roadside; and where the people seem to be hesitant in accepting strangers: one finds it hard to find a purpose. Most people we meet don’t show emotion, making it hard to decipher what they are thinking. Are they happy, annoyed, sad, or nervous? Most don’t really smile or show affection to you when you do something nice for them. In a place where 
crashing waves will lull you to sleep, you wonder if you will impact this sleeping city. Do they even need you?
With each day, I start to seem some change. The children at the camp might crack a smile or get comfortable enough to ask you a question. The littler kids upstairs at the YMCA yell your name and jump all over you. They can’t get enough hugs and request your arms to spin them in circles. When you start to feel dizzy to a point of falling down, the next kid is geared up and ready to go. Then there is hide and seek, tickling game, and dance time. You see more emotion and hope in their giggles…..in their eyes.
When I start to feel like maybe these kids don’t really need me, I learn their stories. There is Child X whose father decided that life wasn’t worth living, that his son wasn’t enough. His mother decided her family wasn’t fulfilling enough and cheated on his father. In an act of revenge, his father kills himself for the mother to find him; but it is his son instead who finds him. Does he feel rejected and at fault? Does he hate is mother? Does he even comprehend what is going on? I know that he is 100% in all he does, makes his own lunch, and has funny quirks about him that probably get him teased. He also shows amazing care for the smaller kids. Child X is sixteen. 
Next comes Child Y who is socially awkward. From day one his father has walked him to camp even though they don’t walk close to each other. His eyes dart back and forth as his bangs fall over them; and he doesn’t smile much at all. He has a nervous way about him and you can tell he doesn’t want to be teased. Today his father told me and the camp leader what the deal is and his concern for his son. Child Y lived with his mom and stepdad for many years, enduring horrendous beatings. He was brainwashed that his father was a good for nothing jerk, who didn’t want him. He is not the sweet boy his father remembered from the past. He is angry, closed up, and very quiet. What did this kid feel in those years of hell? Will he trust his father who is trying his hardest? I have seen him smile more and get involved in the sports; and I have heard some laughter emit from his pale skinny body. Child Y is thirteen.
All of these kids have a story, many I will never hear. Trust and emotion is hard for them, as they have been conditioned to be seen and not heard. Some have a nice life, others a very horrific one. Some will find hope in the 
kindness and love of a stranger, others will not. Some shells will be cracked, others will not be ready to crawl out of theirs. I like to think that though their paths may be dark and overgrown with thorns; each act of love in their life will plant a seed. Eventually their paths will show more light, and beautiful flowers will push out the thorns. This process can be quicker when God is shared with them, when they know that they are not alone in their suffering. When they know that He is all around them and inside of them.
A little girl asked my teammate Karen if God really did exist; if he was in the trees, the flowers, and the sky. With a radiant beam, Karen answered “Yes!” and the conversation flourished into something amazing. So that is what our team says, we say “Yes” to those who are asleep in Gisborne….wake up and see the one true light, God is all around you. That is why we are here, that is our purpose for month one. To show them that love, that spirit.
“You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness.” Psalm 18:28
