They say that you have to give yourself time, that you have to process through everything you experienced the past 11 months. So, you try…….but to not much avail. Is it in the images that randomly pop into your head…..images you just can’t shake. You still see into the eyes of the person that impressed upon your heart. You still wish you could of done more. We wouldn’t of learned much if we couldn’t accept that it is out of our hands. No matter how hard we try to save the world, to save people; it really isn’t in our control. God takes the little things we do and builds upon them. We are the planters, he is the farmer. The one who waters and tends to the harvest.
So, I say this; but still am not satisfied. Is it just a part of being human, of not possessing divine perfection? Not that I want that. It is something that pushes me into the next steps, into what I should do next. I don’t know all the answers, but I am starting with my passions. Passions, I’ve accepted that God has given to me for a reason. That reason being to further his Kingdom and to help his people. Right now, my life looks quite similar to what it looked like before I left on the race. I am working the same two jobs (a bit less hours though), taking care of my amazing niece Hayden when needed, and enjoying life. I am going to start volunteering for a really cool organization called Children’s Hope Chest (hopechest.org); which works with child injustices. That is one passion for me. I fell in love with too many kids this year and still think of them often. Their faces are imprinted on my heart and my mind. Small start for sure, but that’s okay for now. I trust that God will help me pursue his bigger plan for me.
All that being said, I will continue to blog; because writing is another passion for me. Read them if you want; but just so you know, you are a part of my journey now. I am also a part of yours…….
