Searching in all the wrong places.

Some people ache to serve.

Some people hurt to serve Jesus.                                

Some people are pained that they don’t do enough.

Some things about myself are becoming more clear, things that I recognize in so many others as well. There is a deep need, that resembles pain, to serve what many would say is the “greater good”; but what I would say is the Almighty. This is encouraging, as we need more empathy with actions. The problem is when the desire is so strong, but you feel stuck and powerless. We’ve all seen it or done it. You go to Yoga, food, exercise, dancing, or something else for the answer. For me, it took taking a leap without really thinking what I was doing, in order to get out of the rut I was stuck in. Without second guessing my decision to leave my family for a foreign country, I stepped into someone else’s rut for a bit. I don’t even think I did it to find the “answer”.  I do know, I haven’t looked back since. I know serving the people that God cries for is what feeds my soul. It’s my lives cry and call. So, as I look at believers and non-believers around me I see how hard it is to trust the unknown. To find the missing link to ones life…. 

It seems that so many in my life are wanting to find something, are searching. One wants to take a year long spiritual journey to find…. well something. Someone else wants to become rich, because money will solve all his problems; family is suffering as a result. Another wants to pursue her lifelong dream of moving to New York to be on Broadway, even though she is tied down by the choices she has made. The list could go on. After awhile I feel like I am living in a community of Eeyore Syndromes. Really! I guess I can say that because I used to be that way too. Doing these things might bring a temporary relief, or help you sow some wild oats; but how permanent are these experiences?

 You can go to the ends of the earth, hike the most amazing mountains, sleep with lions, and raft the Nile…. but it won’t solve a thing. Until you can recognize your birthright, the gift given to you before you were born, the puzzle piece that will complete your soul…. you will be searching until your body is in the cold ground (sorry that sounds harsh). I guess it might take that to find the answer. You can become rich and famous, meet some amazing people; but if you can’t love who you are, it means nothing. Am I perfect? Nope. Do I falter? Yep, in this world for sure. But in the end, I get to tell people that it is my faith that helps me to smile through the pain; dance when I am angry. It is my Jesus that completes my soul and lets me know that I don’t have to continue to search for what will make me feel whole. It is my love for God that allows me to travel to foreign lands to hold orphans and laugh with toothless babushkas. 

So, all I have to say is if you feel empty…. you probably are. If you are searching for the world to complete you, the emptiness will grow. If you feel like running from your problems, they will meet you at the finish line, duplicated. The only answer is God, the only truth is Christ Jesus, the only one to accept that is you.

That being said, I am helping to co-lead a group of High Schoolers to Belize, in June. I am super stoked to encourage the serving hearts of a younger generation, to help empower them to change this world. I once again am asking for your support and prayers; as I help this group recognize and see all that is holy around them. We are heading out June 16 thru July1…. Yay!