I can officially say that I only have eight days left until I will be home, and yet……I don’t know how to fully comprehend it. This trip has turned my world upside down, inside out, and twisted me in so many different directions. I think I know who I am, but I know that I don’t…..that there is so much more to discover about my identity in Christ. I am more tired, excited, and crazier than I have ever been. I have been the most bored, the busiest, the happiest, and even the saddest than ever in my life. I thought I would be returning to the States more confident on my calling in, more ready to make changes, and more sure of who I am in this world. Yet, I feel more chaotic and unstable, more daring and bold……and I feel that is exactly where God wants me to be. If I were to be so “stable and sure” of myself, then why would I need him? If I had all the human logic I could ask for, then why would I need His supernatural wisdom? I think I would be less likely to take risks,
less likely to follow a path that I can’t see clearly, and less likely to pursue a relationship with Him. I don’t know my place in this world, but I don’t really care; and I don’t care if anyone thinks I should know by now.
convictions have humbled me. Why did I think that this trip was only for me to help transform the world? How ignorant am I, to not see that this trip was here to also transform me and the people in my life? It was hear to dig up the twisted roots of everything vile within my heart, to pin me down on the broken glass of my life, and to drag me through the thorns I wanted so badly to ignore.
