Glistening lights stretch across the roof top, clothes hang drying, while people mingle. A random rooftop in Bangkok? No, not random……Appointed. It was a night of worship for N squad, a night of revelation and breaking. One big step toward freedom and community connections. There seemed to be somewhat of a heaviness amongst the squad, coming out of Malaysia- something we were all holding on to. Stones. Visions of stones were brought to my mind and below is what I shared with my sisters and brothers:
I was thinking of what we as humans do to ourselves. We allow ourselves to be filled with stones that have words or phrases etched on them. “fear”, “anger”, “apathy”, “worthless”, “I can’t…”, “helpless”, “pride,” “It’s not for me”, “I’m fat”, “it’s too hard”, and so much more. We allow things from our past to become our identity today, and we allow all these stones to fill us up, weighing us down. They become more and more heavy, to the point that we struggle to live our lives fully for God. We are held back. These writings are speaking death into us and they are becoming tombSTONES……they are not of God.
We were not called to carry these stones, to have them anywhere near us. It’s our human nature that has allowed us to accept them and hold on to their words. However, if we fully release it ALL to God, if we say “yes, take all control,” then His mighty hand just swipes across the stones. He erases all the words and the stones disappear……our identities become His again. Things become lighter and lighter……it’s that amazing. We shouldn’t allow our cross to fall over, getting overgrown with weeds in the graveyards we build within. We have to take up our cross, live the life of sacrifice we are called to live for our saviour in Heaven.
That was what I got the other night. God has been revealing so much to me this year and a lot of it is about living in the spirit. More of the spirit, less of the flesh is something I am always praying for. I can’t continue to walk into these nations of brokeness carrying a lot of weight/burdens. I can’t reach out to people in need if I don’t rid myself of me…..if I don’t allow God to be my eyes and to control my heart.Malaysia was spiritually heavy and placed some rocks in me, but I can see now that they are not mine to carry. I carry the cross, not stones of death.
