Adventures WorldRace SethBarnes Sponsorship Giving

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Sometimes I have trouble accepting help from others (so I have been told), though I am so quick to give it out. It’s almost like I sacrifice my own wants and comforts to make someone else happy. Okay, that sounds like a good thing; but it gets bad when you don’t allow someone to reciprocate it. It can get unhealthy.
 
It may go back to childhood (probably what a therapist would say). Growing up I learned quick that if I wanted something done I had to do it myself; so still today if I see something that needs done I do it. Don’t get me wrong, I gained very good work ethics from it. Another issue was the shame I experienced when my family struggled, especially when we had to borrow from others and never seemed to pay them back. There were times when we had to get free groceries on a tab and never really had the money to pay it. It was about survival and when we couldn’t afford food, we did what we had to. I lived in a small town and things don’t remain hidden for long. I vowed to never borrow or have to owe someone. It’s hard for me to accept money when I need it or food when I have none. You also learn that when you are vulnerable, people will take advantage of that. My family lost things for the asset of someone else. You have to find your Dignity again.

 I don’t want to be pitied, vulnerable, or thought of as a project.

I imagine many victims of sex trafficking also feel this way. They don’t trust anyone, because everyone seems to want something from them; they are extremely vulnerable. There is a shame within them, even though they didn’t choose that  lifestyle. Can you imagine being used day in and day out; and then have to trust a stranger to help you when you are freed?

Chains of slavery know no dignity, and they strip a person of the ability to cultivate human relationships. Automatically a shield of exclusion is made and dropping it takes time. I believe that time, love, and believing in someone helps to melt the shame. The Love of Christ solidifies it even more; and there is a realization that there is beauty among the ruins of the prison that enslaves. Empowerment and self-worth complete the steps to freedom; and continual prayer carries them forward into a new day.

My heart cries for those who feel they have no dignity and think they deserve the life of slavery that has been forced upon them. I will not accept it for them and I pray they too will see it is unacceptable. Through the years, I have realized the power and strength of God- a God who has overcome the evil of this world. That power is within those who believe it, including the used and abused of this world.  

I haven’t written for some time, but so much has happened. I am a part of three projects that are fighting the sex trade; and more keeps coming. I will keep you updated as the kinks unkink; and the state of limbo becomes something solid. Two things are as follows: One is I was asked to head up a safe house Stateside (possibly Colorado), so please pray about that for me. Secondly, I am planning two research trips to Cambodia and Bulgaria….. more information to come.

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