My grandpa died unexpectedly yesterday.
When I committed to 11 months on the Race I knew there were things back home that I would miss. 11 months is basically a whole year. That’s a significant amount of time. It’s more than just being away to school for a semester. There is no going home to see everyone half way through. It’s a commitment unlike any I have ever made.
I know what it’s like to live far away from people. My siblings and all my beautiful, amazing nieces and nephews live states away. I didn’t meet my sister’s first baby in person until he was 6ish months old. It’s not easy being away from the ones I love most. But following wherever God leads me is more important than my comfort zone.
This was my thought process when I decided on this 11 month commitment. God is worth it. Following His will is worth any sacrifice. Even when my brother and his wife, and then my sister and her husband, and THEN my best friend all announced that they would be having new babies while I was out of the country. (To be honest, there are so many new baby announcements on my facebook feed that I sometimes can’t even count them all.) I counted the cost of missing all the new babies and decided God’s will for my life is still worth it.
I’m now just past the half way point in my Race. We are now starting month 7 here in Romania. I have 2 beautiful new nephews back home waiting to meet their Aunt “Shasha,” as my older nieces called me. I’ve been that crazy aunt who forces everyone on my squad to look at pictures and listen to ridiculous stories. My team and squad have graciously walked with me through tears, stress, and happy news as I anxiously awaited the births of both Oliver and Logan from the other side of the world. They have turned off their own wifi so that I could get enough signal to skype even though they all have family and friends of their own waiting to hear from them. (This is sacrifice in its truest form on the Race!) They have offered prayers, hugs, and true joy when the happy news came. I have been blessed over and over again by the authentic community and true care of my squad mates through all of this.
But yesterday I had a completely different sort of news from home. My sister texted me to call mom immediately, no matter what time. I knew right away that this wasn’t good. When I got a hold of my mom she was already with family and had no time to be delicate because of facebook updates already being posted by multiple people. She knows I’m not one to have patience for sugar coating things anyway.
“Grandpa Johnny passed away this morning. He collapsed with what was probably a massive heart attack.”
A complete shock. He was old but strong and healthy when I left home and even right up until yesterday.
I hung up the skype call and walked into the room I share with the other girls on my team. I was still in shock. I’ve never had someone close die so suddenly. I had no idea what to feel or how to act.
I don’t even remember what I said to my teammates. One of them jumped up and quietly went to get the guys who were down the hall. In moments I was surrounded by all six members of my team, my family. With silent hugs and simple words of love and sympathy they gathered around me as any true family would.
As they prayed for me and for my family back home I was overwhelmed with peace, comfort, and even an inexplicable joy. I knew, once again, that I am exactly where God wants me. I may be far from my family but God has given me a family right here as well. We have all sacrificed things to be here and there is no one able to understand my current sacrifice better than them.
True community is a beautiful blessing of the Race and I am so thankful for all of it.
To all my family back in the States, I’m so sorry I can’t be there with all of you right now. Know that my heart and prayers (and the prayers of my whole team!) are with you. Thank you all for your support in this journey I have committed to. I love you all so, so much.
