God, the master of the universe, uses many mysterious ways to show His love for us. I have technically known this to be true my whole life. Just like with Elijah in 1 Kings 19:11-13, God could have been in the wind, the earthquake, or the fire but He chose to speak in a still, small voice. This doesn’t make sense to me. He’s GOD, He has more right to be loud than anyone! And there are times when God is loud. There are times when He shows off in mighty power. There are times when I believe He revels in the great, indescribable things.
But part of being all knowing is knowing exactly what we need. He knows when we need to see His might and when we need His still, small voice, so close to our hearts.
Recently I have been praying that God would help me to walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-18). I want to know how to see, hear, and react according to what the Spirit is doing. During these prayers I have felt strongly that walking in the Spirit is not strange or “super spiritual.” From the outside I don’t believe walking by the Spirit looks any different than every other day of my life. I believe it is simply listening to and acting on what Holy Spirit is doing in every situation.
Last week we were in Budapest, Hungary for Debrief. Debrief is a time of rest and reflection built into the World Race. We have no scheduled ministry, less rules, and less team building requirements. One of my favorite parts of Debrief is not having to be with my team 24/7. Don’t get me wrong, I love my team and I love living life with them… But a break now and then is definitely needed!
For only one blessed day of Debrief I had absolutely nothing scheduled until evening worship. It was GLORIOUS. I almost didn’t know what to do with myself. One thing was sure, however. I was going to be completely selfish.
GASP.
The Race trains a person to be the opposite of selfish, and rightly so. We have team and community forced on us all day, every day. We are taught to honor others above ourselves. Eat last, give up the good seat in transit, intentionally ask how others are doing and expect a real answer. This is Race culture. I have slowly (and painfully!) come to love it but on this day I wanted to feel independent again. I wanted to make my own decisions without needing to ask 6 other people what they thought. I wanted to make plans and not have to clarify them with anyone.
So I did just that. I wandered the beautiful city of Budapest by myself. I even went so far as to duck down random streets when I saw squadmates in my path ahead. I wanted to be alone! I had an amazing 3 hours of this and then I passed a grocery store. Or I meant to pass it. Instead I walked inside. Why am I in here? I thought. I didn’t need any groceries.
I began to wander through the store.
I eventually found the pickles. I immediately thought of one of my squadmates. She loves pickles. She even goes so far as to say that pickles are her love language.
I grabbed a jar of pickles…
Why am I buying her pickles?
She can buy her own pickles!
I’m having a selfish day! A day to think about only myself!
I carried the pickles toward the check out line…
While I stood in line, internally arguing with myself about why I felt the need to buy pickles, I saw gummy bears. This same squadmate of mine also loves gummy bears.
I picked up the gummy bears and put them on the belt next to the jar of pickles…
WHY???
I pay for the pickles and the gummy bears…
But I’m too cheap to buy a grocery bag. (it’s a sad truth in Europe but you have to pay for grocery bags AND public restrooms.)
So I find myself standing outside the grocery store holding a jar of pickles and a bag of gummy bears.
I can’t continue my wandering while carrying these, I realize suddenly. I will have to return to the hostel where we are all staying. So apparently my day of selfishness was over.
When I got back I found my squadmate and announced what I had bought for her. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me.
I’d had no idea what a terrible day she was having. But God knew. And He knew exactly what she needed. Seldom do we get such a beautiful, tangible expression of God’s love for us as someone showing up with our favorite comfort foods. And seldom do we get to be that friend with perfect timing.
I was amazed at God’s love, even if I was the one giving instead of receiving. Such a small thing that meant so very much!
This is what it means to walk by the Spirit.
