As I was laying in bed a couple of days ago, I started to become confused. I kept asking God why He would send me on the World Race if He knew that I was going to be sick the whole time. I started questioning myself being here and actually considered going home, where my immune system actually worked to fight off sickness. I grew angry and started weeping as I punched my turtle pillow. “Why me, God?,” “What did I do to deserve this.” I just wanted to be able to sleep, without waking up every hour. I wanted to be able to smell out of my nose. I wanted to be able to do ministry without getting too tired to function. I was so irritated. As I pulled myself together, I plugged my earbuds into my phone and began listening. The song that came on was “Give Me Faith,” by Elevation Worship. As I listened, my hardened heart began to soften. The lyrics say this:
Give me Faith to trust what you say, that You’re good and Your love is great. I’m broken inside, I give you my life. Because I may be weak, but your spirit’s strong in me. My flesh may fail, but my God you never will.
Tears began to stream down my face as I humbled myself. I’m sure I’m not the only one, but sometimes I become prideful and try to do things myself, that only God can do, (like heal me). And that is how I normally interpret the song, but this time it was different. This time it had another meaning as well. I am sick and weak, but I have a good good Father, that is strong in me. My immune system may be failing me a little bit, but my God NEVER will.
As I was laying there, I looked over to my squad mate, Caroline, who was also sick. She looked at me and said, “Aly, I think we have a lot of power to make a diffence and the enemy can’t get to us mentally, so he knocked us down physically instead.”
So, as I write this, I am choosing not to let the enemy win, and you shouldn’t either. The battle is already won. We don’t have to keep fighting, take refuge in the Lord because He will never fail.
