The Struggle Of Walking
Walking has been a struggle for me in this first month of my Race. We have to walk to church every Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. The walk to church is about 40 to 45 minutes from our hostel. When we’re walking, I’m always talking to myself in my head and all of it is negative. I’m always thinking “ Allyson, you cannot do this.” Those words are repeated over and over in my head. Why I do that to myself? I have absolutely no idea. I always dig into myself when I’m at my weakest. Then when it’s time for team time (we do this after every outing), I don’t confess to my team how much I’m struggling. Why I don’t come to them about it? Simply pride. The biggest question is, why don’t I turn to God for strength? I just don’t know. This is one of my worst insecurities about myself and I hate that I do it.
But there has been light shown into the darkness. On Wednesday, only three of us had to go to the port and I felt God just telling me that I had to go to the port. That means walking to church and I’m not gonna lie I argued a little bit. I said ”God, I am not going to do this walk. No way!” God said ”You are my child and you will obey me.” God put the conviction on my heart to do this walk and for once, I actually enjoyed walking that morning.
Philippians 4:13
I can endure all these things through the power of the One who gives me strength.
This is a journey that I am walking with God and so far it hasn’t been easy, but I wasn’t looking for easy when I signed up for the race.
Let His will be done
In Christ,
Allyson Miller
