Not gonna lie to you guys. I recently began wondering if God was going to help me with my mission trip this August. I was doubting but I don’t want to doubt anymore. I realized I wasn’t talking to God and asking for his help. I want to be so in control of my own decisions and how I should do it. I realize that I can’t do that. I’m literally at my breaking point. I don’t want try to be in control anymore. If losing control means bringing in only God’s control— I welcome it! God is always in charge.
At this moment, for me, trusting and having faith in God is like bungee jumping—having faith that the ropes will stay on the hooks as you plummet through the air. This trip will test my strength, trust, and faith in God. I’ll also be away from home and that’s where I’m most comfortable. I’m leaving my most comfortable place and sometimes that makes me feel afraid. I’ll basically be homeless for 11 months. I love my family and I will miss them but God has called me on this trip to be a disciple for Him.
Writing this right now, I’m starting feel relieved because I’m finally turning this all over to God. I’m writing about what’s in my heart and soul. (Not saying that my other blogs aren’t from heart and soul) but for this blog it’s about getting to the root. The anxiety, control and doubt I’m gonna let go of and hand over to God. When I begin to experience doubt and anxiety again, I’m going to cast those feelings aside. Christ is in full control and I fully welcome it!
