I am in Month 9 of the Race.
I’ve done some hard things, seen some incredible sights.
I’ve worked through feedback, loved and been angry. I’ve grown and changed and experienced extraordinary bits of creation.
But now, the prospect of home and the question “Hey, what are you going to do after the Race?” hangs heavy in the air.
And I’m left here thinking, but wait, wait wait, NOW? I’M NOT READY?!
With this question, some thoughts and fears arise, including, but not limited to:
1. What am I going to do when I get home?
2. I can’t live in my parent’s basement forever!
3. Oh, I’m so excited!
4. Oh no, no, I don’t want to leave the Race!!
5. Again, what am I going to do when I get home?
6. I want to go back changed, not the same.
I know I’m not the only who’s felt the weight of going home. I have read blogs and talked to squad-mates about their feelings going home and they have some great insight. It truly doesn’t matter the “what” when we go home, it does matter the “how.” If in all we do we seek to honor and glorify the Lord, seeking Kingdom first, then no matter “what” we do we will be fulfilling our ultimate purpose here on earth.
Whether we are sitting in a crowded Albanian coffee shop, or across the desk from a 6 year old boy in Malaysia attempting to teach him Chinese (my life last week).
Though for me, some days the worry sets in strong.
I think of Matthew 6: 24-34. God clothes the wild grass and the flowers. He feeds the birds even though they do not sow their own food as we do. Surely, us, His grandest of creation, made in His image, will be provided for, clothed, fed.
Anxiety and worry come from lack of faith that the Lord will hold tight to His provisions and future grace- straight up. The verses in Matthew directly address “Ye of little faith.”
The Lord doesn’t expect us never to worry, never to be anxious, but He does not want us to stay there. He gives us guidance of where to go next and assurance of His goodness and provision in which our faith can reside.
You see, God is NEVER FAILING. NEVER. Period.
And because of this we can trust in His promises. We can place our trust in Him for our future, resting assured, content, and satisfied that He’s got it all. He is NEVER FAILING remember?
There’s freedom there from the worry of tomorrow. He will clothe me, feed me, and as I go home, He will provide a future for me.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
He knows the plans? Thank goodness someone does, because I haven’t the foggiest. Hallelujah, I’m ready! Let’s Go Lord!
In regards to going home, I have a choice to make- Will I trust in Him who has provided for me today and will provide for me tomorrow? The one who has a plan that I will prosper?
Or will I sit in my worry, missing out on today because I am too concerned with tomorrow?
I choose the former.
I choose to have faith BIG enough to fix my heart on His promises and those alone. Faith BIG enough for today and trust deep enough for eternity.
I choose to be concerned with His Kingdom TODAY and trust that He will guide my heart and my intentions when I rely on Him for tomorrow. For this world will come and go, but His Kingdom is forever.
Because this Race is just the beginning of a life with Him eternally.
“So do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.” Matthew 6:34
