I am a nanny right now for a cutie pie of a little girl.
She is 4 years old, an only child, and sometimes a handful.
I care for her every morning and into the afternoon, so we are getting to know one another rather well. Teaching and learning from one another as happens with babysitters and the children.
While I have learned a great deal about her, what she loves, and what she does not love, I have learned even more about myself.
Some examples include:
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I am not good at dressing myself- I have currently been dressing myself for approximately 18 years. But, let me tell you, my outfits just aren’t working. Her four years of expertise has told me so.
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I am too fast- Taking only 5 minutes to get dressed is a abomination. Why not 20? What about all the play time I am missing out on? Don’t I want to pretend to be a princess in 4 different outfits before deciding looking like Elsa is the best option? Taking time for these things is key.
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I am the worst nanny in the world- Timeouts are not fun- I really need to learn that one.
And also:
4. I am the best nanny in the world- My Little Ponies are the bomb.com and I should definitely continue to play them every morning
Caring for that little girl has also taught me a great deal about service and sacrifice.
Even though I have made this delicious leftover steak fillet, there is not enough for both of us. And sometimes settling for a PB&J is just as satisfying.
Being her caregiver for even just a few hours each day is time when things become about more than me. When my actions and my words become about her.
When what I do isn’t just about me anymore.
I think about how being a nanny is preparing me for The World Race- How serving and showing Christ’s amazing love across the globe is about so much more than just me and takes a level of sacrifice. I think about the reasons I am doing so-how He has broken my heart for others.
What breaks my heart? What breaks my heart enough to travel the world to find it? To travel the world to love others as Christ first loved us, to be a role in just one person’s life; to be a light of love and affection, gratitude, and humility from country to country?
What breaks my heart is those young children without mothers to hold them close when they are crying, so they may hear the beating of their mama’s heart.
Or women and girls who feel the only way to find truth and satisfaction in life is to reveal their beautiful bodies to those whose eyes do not love as Christ’s does and whose hands can be even worse.
Who weep at night wondering where love is, and if it is even obtainable.
Who will care for me?
My heart is broken for Pregnant mothers without a home in which to set up a new crib or to decorate the walls with Pinterest inspired decor or another to stand by them and hold their hand as they bring new life into this world.
Congregations who are filled with hate and judgment. Who are missing that love, that acceptance, and that grace that we’ve been given. Who are hurting without a community.
For the thirsty seniors whose bodies aren’t keeping up with the wisdom of their minds and whose hands have sacrificed so much, but now receive so little in return.
My heart breaks endlessly for the ones who are also broken. And my desire is to find them, hold them, hug them, and show them the grace I have found.
I can do that right out my front door everyday. But, I feel led to take that step further, to go OUT there where there is more that I can’t see sitting at home in my comfy bed with a coffee mug in my hand. What I can’t do sitting in the pew next to my best friend. There are people hurting, there are those who are hungry, injured, tired, and weak- and I want to find them, and love them.
I’m ready to give up the comfortable, to give up the tedious, To give up my endless battle with struggles that seem petty- what to wear, how to do my hair, what my social status is.
Sometimes I cry out saying “God, why, why have you let this happen? Change it , change the bad in this world, heal those who are hurt! Stop those who are angry!”
And then I remember God created us and gave us passions and drives us so that He can. So we can literally be His hands and feet and go out there to change all that pain to just a little bit of good. Me and You- He created to bring that love.
Break my heart Lord, for what breaks yours
The World Race isn’t for me, and it isn’t simply all about me.
This trip isn’t a vacation or simply an amazing journey across the globe (even though that it is too)
It is revolutionary vision.
For people to see others as the Lord sees people. Each is beautiful, each is perfect, and each is worthy.
And that’s what I want to do. And that’s why I want to GO!
This Race is for the children I talked to a few months ago down by a trail in Morgantown, whose mom encouraged them to do well in school so they could graduate and travel the world too.
It’s for the friends who are able to showcase their talents by helping me with photography, with videos, with media! (holy moly, I am so not good at media, why is there SO MUCH???)
It’s for my family, who are banning together in a wave of support for this journey.
It’s for my best friends, who are encouraging beyond anything I can image and through which God endlessly speaks to me.
It’s for my squadmates, who I will have the opportunity to build encouraging and wonderful relationships with.
Like being a nanny, all of these will take sacrifice and a great deal of patience and focus. But, luckily it’s not just me either. I’ve got an army of supporters by my side!
Being a nanny isn’t about me, it’s about her.
And being a Racer isn’t about me, it’s about Him.
“Open my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours”
-“Hosanna” Hillsong
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