As the Race comes to a close, I think nostalgically of this past year.
Often growing up, I was placed in leadership roles. Being placed there led me to define myself by those roles or positions, I thought-that’s who I am, who I will always be. Coming on the Race, I was offered a role on the squad to lead a team, humbly and excitedly, I accepted.
But, month 4 came around and that wasn’t what the Lord had for me anymore in this year.
I had spent most of my life defining myself by the roles and titles I had been given, that when I no longer had a title I was confused, scared, and feeling lost as to what to identify myself as anymore.
It utterly wrecked me to be honest.
Without that brokenness, without tearing down the walls, the Lord couldn’t build them back up again stronger and more durable.
With all barriers down, I began to see for myself as the Lord did, not this world, not even the Race. I began to find the love the Lord had for me, the potential HE saw in me, the ways HE defined me.
I am grateful and in awe of all that I learned and grew in this year while not being in a leadership position.
11 things I learned while not leading on the World Race:
- I learned to REST. To truly Rest. I don’t have to always be fulfilling expectations. The world has put that pressure on us, but The Lord has only one steadfast and consistent thing He calls me into and that is loving Him and seeking Him. Jesus rested, He encouraged His disciples to rest, God rested on the sixth day. We weren’t created to always go and the Lord knows that. He WANTS us to rest because then we can be ready and capable to fulfill to the best of our abilities what He has for us. It is honoring to Him to rest.
- I learned what it means to seek identity in Him who created me, not the world of which I am temporarily a part of.
- I learned the experience I had for the first few months was beautifully used in encouraging and supporting the leaders placed over me later in the Race.
- I learned to encourage! And that each person is different in how they receive it.
- I found joy in my role in the Kingdom and not my role on the squad.
- I found Him in my brokenness when I surrendered it at His feet, and I am so satisfied in that find.
- I found love, grace, acceptance when I was lonely and to draw more intimately into my father’s chest when I am most fearful.
- I learned that feeling “seen” and “known” are things we all crave. And that the Lord satisfies the deepest cravings of our hearts if we simply seek Him in it.
- I learned to sit and listen-for hours upon hours. I learned to wait upon His voice, even when I doubt it.
- I learned love and surrender in all things to the Father. And in that surrender He will move mountains, ALWAYS.
- And ultimately, I learned that “leading” doesn’t always come with a title. That leadership is a place of heart, of courage, of empowerment, of love. We each are leaders in the ways we push into advancement of His Kingdom and called upon to lead others in that.God doesn’t look at the outward appearance like man, but He looks straight to the heart.
He needed to silence the voices around me for a bit so I could listen.
I needed to become a quite shepherd in a vacant field to listen.
God doesn’t look at roles or titles of this world to use the great and mighty, but He looks at their heart. He looks at my heart, into my heart.
Roles push some into hard places and grows them leaps and bounds. I fully believe that the Lord has something INCREDIBLE for each and every one whose earthly titles push them closer and closer to the titles the Lord has for them in eternity.
No title or role does not mean I am not a leader. I believe the Lord has placed incredible gifts and passions within the bounds of my own chest if I simply take the time to acknowledge and step out in them.
This year I wasn’t a leader and that taught me more than being labeled as one ever could.
And for that, I am forever grateful.
These are my 3 teams from this year:)
Team Hope Ignited
Team Spinning Arrows
Team Braided Bunch
I am so humbled and thankful for all of these strong, inspiring, and beautiful women.
