This week I thought I would continue with my Untold Story Series and share another story from Month 1 in Guatemala!
My Team, Wild Fires, was invited to an all women’s bible study after ministry at the YWAM campus in Ciudad Vieja. I, as well as my teammates Melissa and Rebecca jumped on the opportunity. We knew ahead of time that it would be in Spanish, but I thought it would be a cool experience to be a part of.
A little after we got there, one of the AIM staff members, Kelsey, briefly greeted us before talking to the women in charge of the bible study. A few minutes later she came back and pulled us aside. She completely caught me off guard when she asked for a couple of us to share our testimony, and looked straight at me telling me that I should be one of them.
“UM. WHAT?…I’m not prepared for this!” I thought to myself. But as the team leader at the time and wanting to obey God, I timidly said “yes”. Melissa also agreed to share her testimony, which I was thankful for.
I knew I had only a short amount of time before I would have to speak in front of this large group of women, so my mind was frantically racing trying to come up with what to share from my testimony. I knew not everything would be relevant for this group of Guatemalan women, so that only made it even harder.
Kelsey, gave us a couple good tips about sharing our testimony. She said to use scripture and have a main message. She calmed my nerves as she prayed for us. I remember her reassuring me that I would do great and praying that the Holy Spirit would speak through me. That’s exactly what I was praying for too! I kept thinking of the scripture when Jesus send outs the Twelve in Matthew 10. Jesus said, “do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”
After I had gathered some of my thoughts about what I was going to share, I felt a little and I mean a little more at ease. I thought of my favorite scripture, Ephesians 3:20, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” and how to convey God is a God of Immeasurably More through my personal story.
Shortly after, the Guatemalan woman who was in charge of the study opened up the night in prayer and introduced us. She called me up first to share my testimony.
I couldn’t tell you what I shared other than ending my story with God’s goodness and how He is a God of Immeasurably More seen through his plans for taking me on the World Race and providing all the funds. But, what I can tell you is how felt after I was finished.
I felt extremely self-conscious and that I didn’t live up to the standards I put on myself. I felt like people weren’t into my story and that it didn’t make an impact on them. It was difficult using a translator and so I forgot things, important things, that I wanted to say. I was frustrated feeling like God didn’t speak through me like I believed He would. I had originally come for the experience of sitting in on this woman’s bible study, and it was hard to embrace because I was so focused on my shortcomings.
Looking back on this memory, I can see how much I have grown since then in my Identity in Christ. I’ve also realized that even though I didn’t feel like God spoke through me or that I made an impact, I can trust that He was still able to use it to speak to someone, even if it was just one person.
This relates to something I’m still learning: how to hear God’s voice clearly and trusting and obeying it. This is especially the case when it comes to listening prayer for someone else. I’m afraid of getting it wrong and therefore I don’t step out in faith and share with the person what I felt God was telling me.
We recently had a team time where we did 5 minutes of listening prayer for each person. I always get nervous for things like this because I feel like I have to perform, and I have to get it right. But, I let my guard down and submitted to God telling him that whatever words or images come to mind as I pray for my teammate, I will be bold enough to say it no matter how weird, strange or incorrect it may seem. I put my faith and trust that even if I got some or it all wrong, He would use it.
After all, God can do ALL things.
I hope this brings some encouragement and/or serves as a reminder that you can trust God can and will use your story to speak to someone. We don’t have to be perfect for God to use us (in fact we can’t ever be perfect), we just have to be willing and obedient.
