“Naw Tee Ku Paw passed away”
My heart stopped at the weight of what my teammate just told me.
We had just arrived to our ministry site where we spend a couple hours each afternoon loving on and playing with the street kids in the community.
While what I wanted to do immediately was find a place to sit and cry by myself, I held it together as best as I could so I could be present with the kids God had in front of me right now. It was not easy especially those first 15-30minutes, but by the grace of God I was able to continue to love and give the attention these Cambodian kiddos needed.
When the time came to leave part of me was ready and eager to process the news, cry it out and talk to God about it, but the other part of me just wanted to push my thoughts and emotions away.
On our walk home, our Squad Leader, Hannah, asked how we were doing with the news and mentioned that she had been through something similar with a couple people she had met and known on the Race. I couldn’t believe that we weren’t the only ones to experience loss like this on the Race.
The thing is I never even thought this was something I would possibly have to go through on the Race.
I was completely caught off guard.
Naw Tee Ku Paw was the sweetest. She was one of three Burmese patients my team had the privilege of visiting last month in Thailand. Because only two of us could go at a time, we rotated and took turns of who would go. I had the joy of visiting 4 times…I say joy because it was easily the highlight of my day.
For about an hour each day we taught them some basic English and practiced math. They were like little sponges. I couldn’t believe how quickly they learned!
On the way home from one of our visits, I asked the FBR staff volunteer, who is a nurse helping to look after these little ones, what was wrong with Naw Tee Ku Paw and she informed me that she had lupus.
Lupus
I know exactly what lupus is and the type of treatment it requires so immediately my heart sank. I thought “How in the world is she going to be okay going back to Burma?” So I sincerely asked her, “Is she going to be ok?” Her response was, “We hope she will be okay.”
I thought to myself, “We hope?!? That’s not good enough!” I held back some tears right then and there of my concern of her future, but I trusted that somehow she would end up okay. She had to! She was just a 13 year old little girl. Surely she would be fine on some medication.
As you can imagine, hearing the news “Naw Tee Ku Paw passed away on June 19th, 2018 after her hard fought fight with congenital heart failure” wrecked me.
“How could this be Lord?”
“I’m 26 years old, loving life, traveling the world, spreading the good news and here is a sweet little girl who was dealt the cards: lupus. How is that even fair?!? It’s not fair!”
“I should have prayed for her more. I didn’t make much of an effort to pray healing over her while I was there! What would have happened if I did? Would she still be alive?”
This tragedy brought me back to the unbearable news I heard last summer before training camp; a 12 year old girl from the ministry I served at in my church in Colorado called Midpoint was in a boating accident and lost her life.
These two young precious girls about the same age taken way too soon. I can’t even think about bearing the pain as an immediate family member.
It’s moments like these that I have to completely trust the Lord. But despite wanting to question and argue with God, there’s not even an ounce of me that doubts God is still good, still sovereign. I know He is and it gives me a peace that surpasses all understanding and knowledge.
As I continued in my chronological Bible reading plan this morning, I ended up in a couple psalms.
“The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. The wind blows, and we are gone— as though we had never been here. But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children’s children of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments!”
??Psalms? ?103:13-18? ?NLT??
“My life passes as swiftly as the evening shadows. I am withering away like grass. He broke my strength in midlife, cutting short my days. But I cried to him, “O my God, who lives forever, don’t take my life while I am so young!”
??Psalms? ?102:11, 23-24? ?NLT??
I couldn’t help but think of these two little girls.
The reality is life is short. But God is a FATHER who is tender and compassionate and he is faithful.
God is a Father to Naw Tee Ku Paw. He loves her unconditionally and has so much compassion on her. I know He is always just and I trust that she is in good hands, his hands, so I have hope to see her again in heaven. Except this time we can just run around and have fun… no more English and math!
This loss hurts a lot. I’m still grieving over my sweet friend and I know my teammates from 5 Multiplied are as well.
Please keep us, her family, my other friend/Naw Tee Ku Paw’s friend (pictured on the left) and the FBR nurse volunteer in your prayers.
