Today we went to a birthday party for an Estonian man turning 70.
I will never be able to really tell him, but he impacted me a lot more than I expected today.
I first noticed that there was something special about him when he was called up to the front of the church so the congregation could pray for him for his birthday.
I thought I was imagining things, but I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes.
Now, let me give you some background information of what I have gathered about Estonia in my short 5 days here.
Estonia has had a rough history and is currently in recovery mode. They are in the healing process of a government that left scars on anyone and everyone.
This has effected the people in Estonia in more ways than I could ever imagine and I would never try to explain to you the pain they’ve gone through in a foreigner’s blog post.
That would be nothing but an insult to these people.
But something that I have been told many times (and experienced) is that Estonians don’t really express how they feel.
They are pretty solemn people that you really have to invest in to get them to open up to you.
So using all of this information I’ve been given, I swept those thoughts away that that man could be crying in front of the congregation.
There’s not many reasons that would happen in America, let alone Estonia.
So then the afternoon rolls around and my team is invited to this man’s birthday party.
(I typically invite complete strangers to my birthday party too, don’t you?)
We arrive and he is at the entrance of what looks like any other luncheon or nice tea party we would have at home.
And it happens again.
And this time I couldn’t brush it away.
I saw tears in this 70-year-old man’s eyes as he welcomed us to his birthday party.
I couldn’t help but be startled and confused and I was overcome with the desire to hug him.
As we sat down for the meal, my mind was still reeling with questions about what I had just seen.
After everyone has taken a seat, he stands up and welcomes everyone to his party.
We were blessed to have this part translated for us in English.
He said he was thankful to everyone for coming and that we are all his friends (I love that part).
And then, you guessed it.
The tears started collecting in his eyes and rolling down his face.
He said that he is thankful for God’s grace that has gotten him to his 70th birthday. He said his life has been changed forever.
And that’s when all my questions started to find answers.
I can’t even begin to imagine what this man has seen in his life.
He has probably experienced the death of loved ones, been forced into a life he doesn’t want because of the government, and thousands of other things I could never even think of.
He has every reason to be hardened by the tragedies he’s lived through.
He has every reason to be a bitter old man.
But where those things should have existed, grace overwhelmed instead.
I saw the power of grace when we let it break down our walls and hurts.
I saw the power of grace when we let it heal our wounds.
I saw the power of grace when we let it fight past what culture tells us is “normal” and let it dominate our everyday life.
When we live this out, it gives others the freedom to live it out as well.
His tears made me supremely aware of how frightened I am by being vulnerable.
How I love to have everything together and give off the vibe that everything is going absolutely perfect in my life.
I don’t want that anymore.
I want to be able to stand in front of a crowd of strangers on my 70th birthday with tears of thankfulness streaming freely down my face.
I want to be a living testimony that no matter what, God’s grace is greater than we could ever imagine.
It’s greater than tragedy, our fears, our past, our rejections, our wounds, our pride. Everything.
Even though his life has probably been full of much heartache, confusion, and oppression, He has been set free by the incredible grace that has been given to us in Christ.
That is life and life abundant.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10
