Jesus loves you.
Yes, we all know it’s true. But what would our lives look like if we believed this with every part of our being?
What if we no longer hear Jesus loves you, but Jesus loves me. Jesus loves Allison Marie Blackwell. What if we realized what a deep, personal, and life changing love this is.
I still struggle with this. Instead of living in the freedom of being loved by Jesus, I find myself falling into the trap of legalism so easily. I secretly hope that if I do the right thing, say the right prayer, read enough of my Bible, and worship the right way, Jesus will love me more.
It sounds ridiculous and I obviously know that’s not true, but I live as if I believe it’s true.
“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved: in quietness and in trust shall be your strength” Isaiah 30:15
This verse has been wrecking me this week. It’s not in the worrying that I’m not being the “best Christian” that I am saved. It’s not in how many people accept Christ when I share the Gospel. It’s not in how many verses I memorize or how many days I fast. It’s in none of these things that I am saved.
It’s in returning (repentance), rest, quietness, and trust.
It’s so much easier to try to follow a checklist of what it means to follow Christ. I love that idea. Then I can know exactly what I’m supposed to do and know I’m following the path I’m supposed to be on.
But none of this brings God glory. It brings me glory.
He is asking us to rest and trust Him. He is asking that His love grow so deep inside every part of who we are so that we serve, obey, and discipline our lives out of love for Him. Not out of obligation or trying to “get more love” from Him.
God has also been teaching me about how He knows us.
“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows” Luke 12:6-7
I’ve always thought it was cool that God knows the number of hairs on my head and thought it was just a sweet sentiment of how intimate He is. I never really processed it.
But have you ever thought about what a big deal this is?
My teammate Aubree hates having hair on the shower floor and has encouraged us to all collect our loose hair as were shampooing and put it on the wall so we don’t have to pick them up off the gross ground after our shower.
One of the first times I did this, God brought this verse in Luke to mind and it made me realize that this far from a simple sentiment. This is a big deal.
As I stare at my multitude of hair on the wall, God reminds me that He still knows exactly how many hairs are on my head. He knows how many are growing in and how many I lost during my morning shampoo ritual. And then how many come out while I brush my hair. Then how many come out when I put my hair in a ponytail.
He cares about us that much and knows us even to the silliest detail. If He knows and cares about the silly number of hairs on our head, we can trust Him all the more with the big things.
He knows exactly what we need. He knows our wounds. He knows what makes us happy. He knows what makes us mad. He knows.
I want to dive deeper into trusting that God is who He says He is and that He cares for me in a deep, powerful, and completely unbelievable way.
And most of all, that I can’t do anything tomorrow to make Him love me more or less than He does in this moment right now. I pray that His love for me transcends any other love this world has to offer and I live to obey God because I am overwhelmed with this love that is already mine.
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