I’m sitting here at the beginning of the 5th month of the World Race and I thought I had it all figured it out.
I thought I’d lived in the hardest living conditions. I thought culture shock had worn off. I thought homesickness was no longer an issue. I thought I had overcome the most complicated issues of living in constant community. I thought I had rid myself of expectations and was just happily along for the crazy journey God had in store.
But I was very wrong.
You see at the end of each month, we get to hear about our ministry for the next month. Our team was really excited because we were living in the YWAM (Youth With A Mission) base in the capital city of Phenom Phen, Cambodia. We saw that we had an American contact and we would be working in villages and teaching English.
Right then and there, expectations were made. But in my mind, they’re okay because it’s actually going to happen because it’s written down on that sweet little piece of paper.
So by living in a YWAM base we will have nice accommodations because the last two times we stayed in a base it was a really great living situation. And then furthermore, our squad leader Joel told us at debrief that the YWAM base in PhenomPhen was the nicest he’s ever stayed in. Then also knowing we were in the capital city meant we would be in a pretty developed area and be able to do a lot of things and get whatever food we’ve been craving.
Then we saw that we had an American contact and were so excited to not have to worry about communication issues. We were excited that he understood the importance of Thanksgiving so we could celebrate in a big way for our first major holiday away from home.
I had my heart set on these things and was excited for our fifth month to begin.
Well, as it turns out, everything has turned out exactly opposite of what our ministry paper said.
And let me tell you, this “experienced World Racer” was angry.
I was upset and disappointed and pouty during the first 24 hours we were here. I couldn’t escape it.
I kept questioning God of why He had us here. Why would He have 2 teams here to do less ministry than we had last month? It’s just not necessary. I am sweaty, cramped and eating egg fried rice for every meal for seemingly little for the Kingdom. I want to go home.
But through sweet encouragement from my team and precious moments, I am able to see God’s almighty hand all over this month.
It’s so hard to trade comfort for discomfort. My flesh was screaming out and demanding to get the things that make me comfortable and happy. The things that I’m used to and make life easier.
But God was speaking to me in those moments and caused me to question myself. Do I really want my life to be one that is just seeking after comfort? Do I really want to make decisions according to the availability of air conditioning and Wi-fi? Or a comfy bed and cable?
Yes, these are all wonderful things, and I am thankful for them, but what a sad life we lead if look back and see that those comforts were all we were after.
Having air conditioning has nothing on the precious little Cambodian boy who lives next door and fills my cheeks with sweet kisses every time I pick him up.
Having a comfy bed has nothing on trying to communicate with the adults in a village by writing numbers in the sand and laughing at our ages and the fact that I have more grey hair than them.
Having Wi-fi has nothing on grabbing and strange but delicious snow cone and walking down the dirt road with your teammate to play with the sweet children down the road.
I am so thankful for these moments that God has given me. These sweet blessings that show me what life is really about.
It’s all about Him. It’s all about showing the world that He is worth more to us than anything we find on this earth. It’s about love.
“Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Luke 12:32-34
I know I won’t ever have this figured out perfectly. I know sometimes (like I showed at the beginning of this month) that I’ll want air conditioning more than I want to serve Jesus. But God’s grace is so abounding and perfect that He’ll continue to put me in situations where I am forced to see how the pleasures of this world are fading and His worth far exceeds anything I can desire. I am becoming more and more thankful for these moments.
Financial Update: I have officially past $12,000 in my World Race account! That is amazing! That means I have less than $3,500 to raise before January 1, 2012. Thank you for all who have given to allow me to get to this point! Please pray about supporting me to be able to stay on the World Race! You will be apart of sharing the Gospel in the nations and fulfilling the Great Commission! Every donation is greatly appreciated and means so much to me! Just click on the link on the left side of the screen that says Support Me! To give quickly and easily! THANK YOU!
