I’ve always been the type that wanted to have a plan. More than that, I wanted my plan wrapped up in a pretty package and tied with a perfect, little bow. I remember when I graduated high school. I thought I was ready to take on the world. In the months, or more like years, leading up to graduation, I tried to figure out what I wanted to do. I came up with a plan: go to a private college and major in nursing. This was a solid plan that other people would approve of and congratulate me on. Then I actually went to carry out my plan.
Even though my plan looked good, what I planned was unsatisfying. For much of my first year of college, I felt lonely. The private college I went to had a lot of partying, which I didn’t want to do. The on campus ministry lacked the connection with God and the Word I was used to at church. I made the best of it, and it wasn’t terrible by any means, I just wasn’t satisfied.
I decided not to return the following year because it was expensive. I took online classes from my community college and the opportunity came up to take Bible school classes at my home church. I enjoyed the Bible classes and was getting more involved in the ministry going on at my church. I loved it. That’s when my parents found out they would have to move for my dad’s job.
Again I had my plan. I wanted to stay in Iowa. For various reasons, my parents thought it would be best if I didn’t stay. After some struggle, we all decided it would be best for me to move to Tulsa to finish my second year of Bible school. I graduated Bible school and started taking night classes.
I always wanted to do what was normal: go to college for four years and graduate with the cap and gown walking across the stage as my name was called. As if them calling my name made me somehow gave me value or purpose. However, it hasn’t happened like that. I have gone to four different schools. I have gone to two private colleges, a community college, and a Bible college. I have taken classes traditionally, online, and as night “adult learning” classes.
This past weekend would have been my graduation if I had stayed at the first college I attended. Learning that I wouldn’t graduate along with most of my peers was a hard pill to swallow. It was almost as if I had put graduating along with my peers as an event that would prove my intelligence and worth as a person. I still sometimes struggle with feeling inadequate because of my lack of graduating.
However, this haphazard journey has grown me in many ways. I have met some amazing people and gotten to do some amazing things. It’s because of this journey that I have come to the World Race. I would not have learned about the race or had God show me this dream and desire that was within me.
I am not going graduate college this May like I would’ve in my plan. I will be finishing my college degree before leaving on the World Race, but I won’t be able to walk in the ceremony like a “normal” student because my school only has one graduation in May when I will have already left for the World Race. Although I will be missing out on what most students get to do, I won’t be missing out on what God has called me to do through the World Race. I know it will be worth it.
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