So, I’m in India! Internet is very slow and scarce so I’m pretty late posting this but it’s been a whirlwind traveling, settling in and adjusting to life in India. These are some of the thoughts I had as I traveled from the USA to Manipur, India!. Stay tuned for a more descriptive blog to come soon 🙂
**Also, pictures aren’t posting as of right now so check instagram (allison_sandra) or facebook to catch some of those!**
Living life to the fullest.
What does that look like?
I think all of us are on a pursuit to find intimacy, ultimately with Father God. We all have this place in our heart that is constantly whispering, “find something greater, dance a little harder, love a little more deeply, be loved more outrageously”.
The problem comes in when satan tries to steal that whisper of hope and replace it with one that says, “Settle. There is only so much you can experience. Finding too much joy is dangerous and it makes you look like a fool”. It becomes a problem when we start to hold back, rationalize that small desire to skip though a field of wild flowers because of the possibly of a thorn bush. It becomes a problem when we turn our focus away from our present and place it on the future, the past, and the unknown that we have no control over.
When is the last time you’ve found yourself in a state of worry, complaining, or feel like you altogether missed out on a whole day of possibility. On my flight down to Atlanta for launch we got delayed for an hour and a half on the runway and I witnessed people complaining and becoming angry at the pilot, the crew, the airport—anything that they could attack. And it broke my heart.
I believe that we were designed for a full life and when we don’t take time to seek out moments that bring us closer to fulfillment our hearts become bitter, they grieve the loss of joy. So we turn to complaining because if our dissatisfaction is due to outside circumstances or by the fault of other people we can justify our dissatisfaction and the responsibility of choosing to find life becomes null.
I believe that we default to dulling life because we are scared of disappointment, scared of shame that grabs a foothold when we wonder if we’re really worthy enough to be loved outrageously. Fullness of the “happy” side of joy can only be discovered by a contrasting experience of sorrow. In the moments when I find myself most alive is when I can look at a broken me and see the promises and purposes that I have. It’s when I’ve risked and against hope I have hoped. It’s when I let my heart be vulnerable.
This moment here is where the love of Jesus Christ is absolutely necessary. If I can’t know without a doubt that I am loved and cherished by something way greater than myself I can’t risk my heart. If I’m in control I have to do everything in my power to protect myself. But when I can rest in the assurance that the God of this universe will never leave or forsake me and that He has the best things in store for me I can and will do outrageous and extraordinary things.
So I’d like to conclude that living a full life doesn’t just look like something, but it feels like something, it sounds like something, it tastes like something, and it smells like something. It’s something that you can’t just find with your eyes. It’s something that you have to open up your heart, look in places that aren’t “normal”. You have to be willing to try a lamb curry on an airplane, feel the hands of your teammates as they pray and speak life, smell the stink of poverty to contrast it with joy and life you can see in a young kid’s eyes. I’m excited for this year because I’m excited to find things that awaken a part of my heart, my mind, that take me from a place of ordinary to a place of extraordinary.
Here’s to a year of hugging dirty kids. To digging latrine holes. To teaching English. To being present with girls stuck in the cycle of hopelessness. Here’s to a year of getting my heart broken with what breaks the Father’s heart. And here is to a year of getting to find fullness of life.
Worry is thinking God won’t get it right. Bitterness is believing God didn’t get it right.
Jesus I thank you that you desire for us to live a life of fullness. Thank you for coming to the earth and weeping with us, laughing with us, walking on the same rocky soil, and ultimately dying for us. Jesus, thank you for accepting the cup before you because you saw joy, you saw fullness and that alone was worth it. God I’m sorry for any ways that I have dampened my life with my cynicism and laying blame on anything but myself. Thank you that you’re so faithful to forgive and restore and right now I commit that I will choose life in all situations and I give you control to remind me when I forget. Jesus open my eyes. All I want is to know that I am loved and love others from that place of security and hope. Jesus, I love you.
