Imagine with me for a second.
Put yourself on top of a rocky, grassy mountain with trees dotting the top. Now put yourself on a large rock on the edge of the mountain overlooking what’s beyond. Place some, maybe a hundred(?), rolling mountains in a 360 panorama for as far as your eyes can see. Are you with me so far? Next, imagine that in front of you is a valley that has a river running through it and buildings that twinkle when it gets dark and stars that literally light up the night with their brilliance. Now that you have the physical picture, put the fact that it takes 30 minutes by car and 45 minutes by foot to walk up to this mountain top. Find yourself looking back and seeing 52 child faces wandering around in the background. Feel the sunny breeze and hear peaceful sounds of life outside of the reach of internet and highways.
Sound pretty ideal? That, my friends, was the girls of Q squad’s home for the past month. Last month was manistry (of womanistry if you will) where the boys and the girls went their separate ways for the month to get the chance to intentionally live, work, play, and bond together. The girls were at El Shaddai children’s home in Swaziland. Our ministry for the month largely revolved around hanging out with one of the kids that lived at El Shaddai as our buddy for the month in addition to gardening, cleaning, teaching at the primary school, and helping with the logistical side of the ministry. This was my buddy, Colile, for the month!
This month, for me, was one of embracing my brokenness and my need for a savior. It was a month of asking the Lord tough questions and having to lean on my teammates in times when I found myself messing up or falling short. For me, it was a month where I found the Lord giving me a choice in every aspect if I wanted to choose in. Did I want to choose in during ministry and fully give it my all? Did I want to go hang out with my buddy when I was tired? Did I want to be vulnerable and humbly talk to my team about weakness that I would rather keep hidden? All of these things added up to the bigger questions of, did I want to choose him, his strength, his way, his plan, over my confidence in my own strength and ability to not only provide for myself, but see the better and easier way.
This month, without getting into a novel length of a blog, was a month of choosing to align a lot of little choices that are the easy ones to gloss over and choosing to be the best Allison that I can before the Lord no matter when or where I’m at. There’s the big choice of salvation where we have to ask ourselves, “Do I believe that Jesus was the Son of God and that he came to earth in order to relate to us in such a way that we would have a guide to align our hearts to and have the ability to choose him as our savior and guide?” There are even the semi-big choices of choosing to follow the golden rule or choosing to listen when the Lord calls you all around the world. But it’s the little choices that we can easily justify or pretend we didn’t realize they were choices that can be the turning point to truly walking out daily life with Christ by our side. A quote that I read on the way to Swaziland this month sums it up quite well, “God’s primary concern is who we’re becoming in the process. We talk about “doing” the will of God, but the will of God has much more to do with “being” than doing. It’s not about being in the right place at the right time; it’s about being the right person even if you find yourself in the wrong circumstances.” (Circle Maker – read it if you want to start to grasp the awesomeness of prayer).
I want to invite whoever is reading this into an opportunity to first choose yes for the big choices, but then be able to say yes to the little ones from a place of true confidence deep in your heart. I want to invite you to see how when we choose to take Jesus’s hand in those little choices that don’t really seem to matter, your whole reality as you live it can be changed. My God that I know isn’t afraid, he’s big enough to handle my questions, my weaknesses, and my times that I fall short. My God is not only able to handle all of those, he’s not worried and the only thing he’s looking for is a heart that has a quick yes to whatever he’s leading me towards.
I pray that where ever you find yourself at, that the Lord was show you the choices he’s looking for you to say yes. I pray that you could see that he’s not going to force, guild, or condemn you into make these decisions because he delights in a joyful heart more that obedience. I pray that he would show you that you are loved and that all of you “bad things” will never disqualify or separate you from all his goodness.
Making smores with the biiiiiggest fire of my life.
Me and my buddy on our last Sunday together!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who has supported me this far! I’m approaching the half way point of the race and I’m blown away by what God has done in my heart so far. I can’t imagine what’s going to happen in this second half.
I’m still 3,600 away from being fully funded and I want to invite you to be apart of my mission opportunity.
Please, please, please, ask me questions. Comment below, email, Facebook, or do whatever you need to do. I’d love to hear from you!
