NURSING SCHOOL IS OVER!!!!!
Nursing school is over. 🙁
That is basically how I feel. Back and forth, excited and upset.
I just cannot believe that these past four years are over. How in the world did that happen so fast? I can literally remember moment-by-moment details of freshman year move-in day (@Sarah T.), and it’s already been almost four years since then. What?! Life is crazy.
The transformation of heart and spirit that the Lord has brought me through is incredible, and I wanted to share a bit about what that process has looked like.
I began my college experience broken-hearted and aching for healing and a fresh start. Less than a month after my dad’s death, I was swept off to college in a new city with a bunch of strangers. You can imagine the anxiety and brood of emotions I felt during this time. However, I believe this transition saved me to an extent. During the first month after my dad’s death, I was basically stuck at home wallowing in a heavy cloud of grief. So, the hustle and bustle of college orientation and the first week of classes and meeting new people every other minute was a much-needed distraction.
However, once the newness of college began to wear off, I truly started to grieve the loss of my dad. The month between when he died and when I left for college I was stuck between denial and trying to hold myself together for my family. I was surrounded by friends and family 24/7, and didn’t get much time at all to process my feelings or the situation in general (don’t get me wrong, the support was much needed and incredibly sweet and amazing how everyone in our community came together). So, about a month or two into college, the “depression” stage of grief hit hard.
I remember one day specifically. I had just gotten back from class and planned on cleaning my room with the few hours of free time I had when my roommate was at class. I decided to turn on some music. At this time I was really into Ben Rector, so I turned on his Spotify playlist, and as I was cleaning my desk with Clorox wipes, I remember literally dropping to the floor in tears as the song “When A Heart Breaks” played. I soaked in every lyric.
I woke up this morning
And I heard the news
I know the pain of a heartbreak
I don’t have answers
And neither do you
I know the pain of a heartbreak
This isn’t easy
This isn’t clear
And you don’t need Jesus ‘til you’re here
Then confusion and the doubts you had
Up and walk away
They walk away
When a heart breaks
As I continued to clean, I kept this song on repeat. Oh the tears that fell. My heart just felt heavy. I was trying to process every detail of my dad’s death while thinking about its implications in my life and how I was going to move forward without him. Looking back, if my roommate would’ve walked in at that time, she would’ve seen quite the scene (ha!). I was a mess. But this instance was essential in my healing process. I believe this was one of the first times in my life I called on the name of Jesus to meet me in my brokenness.
And you don’t need Jesus ‘til you’re here
Then confusion and the doubts you had
Up and walk away
Hearing these lyrics over and over again got me thinking: “If this guy means what he wrote in these lyrics, then I really need what Jesus could offer me right now”. And the rest is history, folks. I believe this is when my relationship with Jesus began.
He met me in that moment. With all of my emotional baggage and brokenness, and all of the sins in my past, He met me in that moment, just like any good dad would. His presence felt like a warm hug, Him pulling me close, whispering, “Come to me, you weary and burdened child of mine, I will give you rest”. You best believe I took that offer of sincerity, peace, and unconditional love. I wanted all of Him. I wanted to know the plans He had for my life and the promises He promised to fulfill at the beginning of time. I needed Jesus desperately in that moment. And that desperation hasn’t changed.
That sweet beginning in my walk of faith sparked my desire for an intimate relationship with the Lord. In the months and years following, I devoted my life to hearing His voice and being obedient to His calling. In December of 2015, I heard loud and clear that calling to be nursing.
I was scheduling my classes for my spring semester of freshman year, when I felt an uneasiness in my spirit. I had a weird gut feeling that medical school wasn’t for me. I dreaded the thought of spending another four years in medical school after the first four in undergrad, and then another few after that for residency. I despised the thought of having to take organic chemistry and physics, but I felt trapped since I had already begun the pre-med track.
As these thoughts were running through my mind, a sweet friend from down the hall knocked on my door to ask about the classes I was scheduling. She had been in my biology lecture that fall semester, so she understood my pain :). She went on to ask me what I thought about nursing. Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it for a second. Since I was so focused on medical school, no other options occupied my mind, so her suggestion surprised me. She brought up that nursing offered less schooling, that we still had time to switch into the pre-nursing track, that there were a bajillion specialties we could choose from, etc.
As any other enneagram five would do in this situation, I began to research and investigate. Hardcore. I wanted to know all my options and carve out a clear path to my end goal. As far back as I could remember, I wanted to be a pediatrician. In nursing, that translated to pediatric nursing. More specifically, I wanted to work with babies. Premature, sick babies? No, thank you. Therefore, the only way though to care for newborn, healthy babies, was to work either in L&D or postpartum. BINGO. Anyone who knows me knows I am obsessed with all things pregnancy and birth. It’s weird, honestly. I have this die-hard passion for women carrying the miracle of life, and the miracle of life itself. Those tiny, squishy new babes are what I live for (beside Jesus). I. LOVE. IT. Boom. Found my career path.
After much prayer and consideration, I scheduled pre-nursing classes and soon after, applied to nursing school. What a whirlwind. But, the Lord is good, and He never once left my side. From the application, to my first ever clinical, through countless study sessions and med-surg exams, and finally to my practicum preceptorship (on a postpartum unit, thank you Jesus!), the Lord walked with me hand-in-hand.
So, as I sit here, now graduated (whoop whoop!!!), I can only look back over these last four years with a grateful heart. The Lord so clearly had a hand on my life within every single moment, bringing me from the lowest broken place of my life, to the highest peak I currently stand upon. With a nursing degree (hopefully a nursing license here pretty soon!) and plans to travel across the globe for the next year on mission for His kingdom, anyone would be crazy not to notice His work in my life.
I am overwhelmed with joy.
.
With only roughly $4,500 left to raise in order to be #WRfullyfunded, I can clearly see God’s faithfulness. The joining together of this community has been something I never could have dreamed of. I have never felt more supported in my life, and I am so grateful for each of you who has said “yes” to the call to support me! Thank you!!!!
Let’s finish what we’ve started and close this gap ASAP! Although I only have $4,500 left to raise for the trip itself, that doesn’t include the cost of my gear, travel to/from training camp/launch, and “daily spending money” on the Race. If you would like to instead support me by donating toward my gear or other outside costs, please mention that in the comments below so I can contact you with further information.
PLUS, I still have some t-shirts left to sell!!
This is what I have left:
5 small short-sleeve
5 medium short-sleeve
3 small long-sleeve
5 medium long-sleeve
Since it’s almost summertime, I’ll be selling the short- and long-sleeves for the same price: $20! 100% of the proceeds go to my trip, so snag one while you can!
If you’d like to donate to my page, click the orange “Donate!” button, and follow the instructions! Super easy.
And if you have made through the ENTIRE post, thank you for taking your time to read my words! It means more to me than you could imagine.
Love,
Allison
