There was a night early on in Training Camp which, with unspoken explanation, we all simply refer to as that night. Every person at TC had a different experience and story to tell from that night and, even now, there’s no way to fully explain what all took place. I’m still processing myself. But I will say it was one of the most uncomfortable, bizarre, Spirit-filled, life-changing, and radical moments I’ve ever been a part of.
I’m here to share some of the stories from that night, starting with my own.
The auditorium was dim, the band played, and it lasted around 30-45 minutes.
It was a night that our speaker prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill every single one of us, to heal, and to break us to be used fully for the work of the Lord. We were told to just get alone and do whatever business we needed to do with God.
It was a very emotional experience as a whole and Lord knows I don’t do well in those situations. I’ve always been skeptical of these things because I personally don’t want to make an “emotional response” and get caught up in the whole thing just to say something or feel a false sense of surrender.
All around me I heard weeping, laughing, screaming, clapping, singing.
I saw hands up, heads bowed, bodies laid, persons embracing, groups praying.
I tried keeping to myself as I knelt at the front and just be real with God as I spoke with Him, but I just felt super comfortable. The whole atmosphere was just very strange and unlike anything I’d ever personally experienced to be honest.
I knew God was real. I knew He was doing some intense work in some peoples lives. But I was scared, skeptical, and just uncomfortable.
I was scared to be broken. Scared to surrender. And scarred of what my life might really look like if I said to God in all honesty what I wanted to say to Him. He’d already spoken to me a few days earlier and what He told me I did not like. So I was kind of nervous of what else He might tell me.
I felt like a fish out of water but continued to just speak to the Lord during that time even though I didn’t “feel” anything.
That night ended. Everyone left kind of like, “what just happened?” What took place as a whole and as individuals was very real, very intense, and very Holy.
God was there and His Spirit was active.
The next day I got together with one of the AIM staff to just express my thoughts and where I’m at with what took place. I was honest in saying that it was just a very strange night and that I felt kind of bad because I left not “feeling” anything. I felt like I’d somehow missed out of some cool God thing that everyone else experienced. Except me.
Randy spoke comforting Truth to me in that moment by saying, “God is a gentleman. He will never force anything on you or make you feel uncomfortable.” He calmed me by saying not to feel bad that I didn’t “feel” anything in that moment. My relationship with the Lord is personal and I can’t compare it with the person to my left or right. I know God will work in me what He will in His timing and I know for me that comes in the quiet place with no distractions when I can seek Him and read His Word.
More stories to come later.
