Wed next day?

There is so much that has been pressing on my heart since being in Nigeria. There is one area in particular that is cutting me to my very core. It is something that so many people, especially women, struggle with that stretches across the globe.

Most of our time in Nigeria thus far has been attending many crusades and speaking/counseling at the breakout sessions. During these times, I kept hearing Pastor Sunday announce to the crowd that a single women’s conference would be taking place, and that it was beneficial for every woman without  a husband to attend… with his accent, and my poor hearing, I thought he was announcing the crusade was starting on Wed-nes-day.

It turns out this crusade, which took place the 21st – 23rd, was actually called Wed Next Day!

Although marriage is so ingrained in American culture, to be single in Nigeria is almost seen as a curse. A man cannot become a pastor unless he is wed. A woman is faulted in her character for her inability to attract a mate. Unfortunately, the drive to know Christ for most people here is all about having power. With that, there is definitely a misconception that when a man marries he receives more power from God because he has authority over his wife as leader of the household. A single woman is told by the church that she is not submissive enough to be married, and is then rebuked to repent of her wicked ways.

The truth is marriage in this life is only a metaphor of our eternal covenant with Jesus Christ. The covenant is intimacy. Our drive to be married should be to love, honor, and serve someone other than ourselves; it is not God’s heart to marry for power or as a means to find our worth, value, and identity. These things will never be found or gained through man; it can only come from our one true Bridegroom. Our spouse can never fulfill what only the Lamb can.

He said that apart from Him we can do nothing. He didn’t say apart from a spouse we can do nothing. Paul said that it would be harder to fully serve the Lord if married. The reason is because when we are single all our focus is unto God, but in a marriage we become more anxious of how to please our spouse. We will have more worldly troubles in a marriage because no longer is it just about ourselves, but about putting the needs of someone else above our own.

I am 27 years old and I no longer have shame, condemnation, or rejection issues stemmed from being single at my age. I used to want to be married because I didn’t know God’s love for me, and I thought my worth came from being able to find someone who loves me. Now that I am a Christian, my validation is in knowing God is love, and in His perfect love, I was created. If anything, I am learning to be thankful in my years that I have as a single woman because marriage is simply an opportunity to love someone the way God so loves me. 

Marriage takes work because real love is not based on emotions or feelings. To love someone with God’s love is called agape, selfless love. We marry not to satisfy our own needs, but to have the opportunity of satisfying the needs of someone else above our own. 

My prayer and hearts desire is that every person would come to the 

knowledge that

In whatever season God has you in, single or married, REJOICE. Count your blessings and remember that His desire is for you!

Peace and Love.