Today is hard. Today, I am aching more than anything to be with my squad. I’m missing the entire launch week because they couldn’t get me on a flight until Saturday. So I guess I’m seeing a lot more of Miami (or at least this hotel) than I had originally planned. I did end up getting a temporary passport though, so praise Jesus on that one.
Part of me wants to yell at God and be angry for this. How can this be the best thing for me when I could be in Ecuador actually DOING something? Instead, here I am sitting in an all too quiet hotel room with nothing to do but search up pictures of Quito and pretend I’m there. Seriously God. What the heck?
But then I’m reminded that He knows best, this happened for a reason, His ways are higher than my ways, etc.
Still, it doesn’t make it easy to be the only one left behind. They will all have amazing stories of how powerful the first week was, with the staff pouring into them and getting them pumped for this crazy year ahead of us, and I will have this hotel room. “Oh me and this hotel, we ate cheap microwavable dinners and cried together.” Sounds like an awesome story to me. Not.
Then the lies start pouring in. The lies that tell me that they don’t even notice I’m not there. That even if they do notice, they are glad to have a week without me. I know neither of those things are true, but as I sit here with nothing to do but stare at the same four walls, I can’t help but feel extremely alone.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I will be incredibly thankful to be rid of Miami tomorrow. It can’t come soon enough.
