“And people say, ‘Don’t you get tired?’ and yes, I do. But I am face to face with Jesus in the dirt, and the more I bend the harder and better and fuller this life gets. And sure, we are tired, but oh we are happy. Because bent down low is where we find the fullness of Joy”
“Oh Jesus. My only prayer for this next year of my life is that You would teach me to bend lower than I ever have to those in need. That You would teach me what it means to be face to face with You in the dirt. That I could have the fullness of Joy as I humble myself and give up my rights, my comfort, my opinions to serve. I want to be as much like you as possible because I may be the only representation of you they see that day.
Thank You for bending lower than anyone to rescue me. Thank You for equipping me with a burning desire to do the same for others. And I know that if I just step out and do it, they won’t see me. They will only see You. And that’s all I want. “
This was a blog post that I wrote on June 21, 2011, a little less than a month before I launched on the World Race. As we are getting ready to head to Romania for month 5, I can’t believe this thing is almost half over.
I was listening to a podcast from my beloved young adults gathering, Tehillah (<— click it!) today as I watched our Albanian friends play volleyball. They are currently in a series called Dimensions which talks about the dimensions of God’s love, and it is rocking my world, even thousands of miles away. I was listening to Dimensions Part 3 today (go download it for free on iTunes. It’ll change your life.) and they were talking about how Jesus was led by His emotions. Steve, one of the pastors, also talked about how we keep the broken at a distance, so that we don’t have to feel their hurt.
As a missionary who is currently on the field, it is safe to say that I have felt the hurt of the broken, that I have heard their cry.
Right?
Wellllll.
As I look back on the last 4 months, I realized that even here, even on the World Race, even in Albania – a predominately Muslim country, it is so easy to forget.
It becomes so easy to walk by the woman begging on the street.
It becomes so easy to just go to ministry and come home like a normal day in N. America.
It becomes so easy to play with orphans, forgetting that they don’t have parents.
It becomes so easy to just go on a coffee date with students, forgetting that they are so broken.
Even here, living this life, it is so easy to get wrapped up in our own problems and forget the reason we signed up for this crazy trip in the first place.
Give me Your heart, Lord.
I want to feel the hurt.
I want my heart to break for them again.
I need to feel their pain,
and then I need to be willing to do something about it.
So, the prayer I prayed on June 21st is still the prayer I am praying today. It looks and sounds a little different, but it is essentially the same.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
