.:.Kenya dig it?.:.

A lot of people have been asking me why. 

The general reaction I get when I tell people I am leaving in less than 3 weeks 

to go to Kenya for 4 months is as follows:

“Really? 3 weeks?! Why?? You just got home! Don’t you want to stay here and enjoy it?”

And sometimes, if I’m being realllll honest, the answer is yes. 

Sometimes, I would prefer to not have to think about all the money and malaria meds and

packing up my backpack again. 

Sometimes I would prefer to just get a job so that I can stop relying on other people (God)

to support me.

Sometimes, I would just love to lay in my glorious bed for days rather than trade it in for a sleeping mat again. 

Sometimes, I just wanna have a normal life. 

But what is normal, anyway?

My idea of normal has been completely shattered by the World Race. 

My version of normal looks like love. And honor. And preferring each other. And pushing into hard things. 

That’s my idea of normal. 

Speaking of hard things,

 I’ve started doing Insanity again since coming home from the race and I hate. my. life. every day. 

But I still do it, because the hard things are what cause the growth. 

And not only is it good for me physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. 

It makes me feel good about myself. 

And in turn, I am a happier, more motivated individual. 

So anyway, back to what I was talking about…. 

Almost every person I’ve told about Kenya has asked me why I want to leave again. 

And sometimes I struggle to find a valid answer. 

Sometimes I ask myself the same question… 

But then I remember. 

Then I remember this face.

Then I remember these children. 

I remember these people. 

Then I remember the stories that broke me, 
the testimonies of God’s goodness, 

the stories I never told. 

I remember all these things and these people and these stories and I can’t just sit idly and pretend that I didn’t hear those things, that I didn’t see the death, the pain, the raw human need. I can’t pretend that I wasn’t changed by the smiles, the contentment, the pure, unending joy that I experienced. 

And that’s when I realize that I am forever ruined. 

I can’t live a “normal” life anymore. 

And honestly, if I don’t go to them, who will?

I have to. 

This is not just a phase, not just something I “need to get out of my system while I’m young.”

And I have to be obedient to the call that God has given me. 

So as for why,

Well… Look at the pictures. 

They’re reason enough, aren’t they?