In my life be lifted high.
In our world be lifted high.
In our love be lifted high.
The above lyrics are from a song that popped up on shuffle this afternoon during my daily soaking in the spirit/doing dishes/scraping play-doh off the floor/cleaning up the tornado left behind from a two year old time. I was humming along until I felt that familiar tugging at my heart. God wanted to say something to me. He wanted me to listen. My ears perked up just as the chorus came.
I called, you answered and you came to my rescue.
I wanna be where you are…
The last line screamed volumes at me.
Yeah, I just wanna be where you are Jesus. You are just too good. Take me to where you are.
I wanna be where you are, Love.
What? That doesn’t make sense, You are always with me God. Can you elaborate?
Stop running from me, Love. Stop trying to take things into your own hands. I know you are overwhelmed. I know you are stressed. Throw your burdens onto me. Let me be where you are. Let me love you the way I need to love you. Don’t run from me, sweet. You are too precious to me. I will always follow.
Uhh.. wow.
I am always one to throw up walls against people to prevent myself from getting hurt and also to see if I am worth the effort it takes to fight through the defenses. I have a lot of friends, but most of them have no idea that I struggle a lot with rejection. Or that I joke a lot, but I take almost every word spoken to me to heart. Or that though I seem bold and confident and loud on the outside, I am actually really reserved and gentle on the inside. Even those closest to me know almost nothing of what goes on internally. I put up walls so that I won’t get hurt, but also to test how far into my messiness people are actually willing to go. Usually it isn’t too far past the surface.
I believe that all women want to be pursued, and all men want to pursue, but I have yet to find that person who will smash through all my defenses like Jesus does. It doesn’t make sense to me that HE of all people would want to pursue me. Sometimes I think I am so not worthy of that, but He just trudges on, smashing through every defense, not caring whether or not I am “worthy enough”. He is the only one who knows me, knows all my garbage, and yet still loves completely. It’s so beautiful.
Anyway, back to the lyrics at the top of the page. The song continues and gets to this bridge of just crying out to God, proclaiming that He will be lifted high. I found myself on my knees in the kitchen with my hands raised singing these lyrics from the depth of my soul. I want nothing more than Him to be lifted high in my life. To really be valued over absolutely everything else. I want Him to be glorified above everything else this year as I head out to the nations. I want to see every knee bowed down to Him. I want Him to be glorified through the love that my team and my squad will be proclaiming this year. I want to see that love change peoples lives.
So, I am slowly realizing that I really can do nothing on my own. I need to let Him in if I want to change anything. How do I expect to change the world if I don’t let Him change me? As soon as I let Him in, all that other stuff follows closely behind. If I let Him into the deepest caverns of my heart, if I let Him be where I am, He will be lifted high in my life, in our world, through my love.
Amazing.
