You know how there are some people who inspire you like no other? That person who writes exactly what you were thinking, or that musician who sings what your heart didn’t know how to put words to? Someone who you look up to, or want to be like, even if you’ve never met them?
A few examples in my life are (I promise they are not paying me to say this):
Jesus: I feel like this one is kind of default. Of COURSE I want to be like Jesus. Who doesn’t wanna walk on water?!
Matthew Thiessen: Also known as the lead singer of Relient K. This dude pretty much sings about my life. I’m pretty sure every single song he’s ever written has been something that I didn’t have the words to convey. His lyrics move me. They make me want to write songs that move other people. And I’m pretty sure I would poop my pants if I ever met him.
Ritchie Seltzer: Most of you reading this have no idea who this man is, but he is probably the coolest person I’ve ever met. I have never seen someone walk so freely in their anointing as he does. I have never seen someone look more like Jesus (other than, you know, Jesus), and just the testimony that his life is makes me want to strive to be better, to love better.
And my current favorite and the inspiration for this blog:
Tiffany Berkowitz: She is somewhat of a World Race celebrity, if you will. She was originally on the June 2009 race and was later a squad leader for the Q squad in September 2010. I followed her as she was a squad leader and may or may not have blog-stalked every single one of her blogs from her race (stalk them righhh hurrr). Her writing inspires me like no other. Hers was the blog I would read as I dreamt about what my life would potentially look like on the race. I would spend a lot of my free time just pouring over her blogs, hoping that one day our paths would meet and I could tell her how much her words moved me and inspired me to be a better person. The realness in her words literally hits my soul, and you can tell that she put time and effort into writing each blog. I WISH I could write the way that she does.
And so, all this to say that I want to be real.
I wanna be real, but sometimes other people say it better.
Sometimes other people know how to accurately describe what my heart is currently feeling better than I do.
So tonight, I’m gonna use some of Tiffany’s words that screamed out at me as I read through some of her old blogs to let you in on where I am at.
Not only are they beautifully written, but they describe where my heart is at this month.
“Wow. Even as I read back over that, I am humiliated again by my own selfishness. Good thing God knows better than to let prideful hearts out on the streets sometimes. Solitary confinement was exactly what I needed. God has broken me and broken me day after day. I want to be here. I need it. I need to have these things ripped out of me, so that I can serve faithfully and joyfully despite circumstance. Drop the expectations of a “cool ministry” or of an amazing story to walk away with. Let go of your adventure. Trust that His is better.”
Let go of your adventure. Trust that His is better.
Dang. That hits me harder and harder every time I read over it.
This month has been slightly different from the others in the sense that I have interacted with about four Romanians the entire time.
Our ministry this month has been more focused on digging trenches and shoveling, dirt, rocks, sand, anything else one could potentially shovel, and a lot less of human interaction with the locals.
Which to me is a little disappointing, seeing as I came here expecting to snuggle cute Romanian babies.
We ARE working at an orphanage after all.
There go my expectations again.
Steph and I working real hard.
Yep. Still working hard.
Don’t be fooled. We definitely posed for this picture.
The truth is though,
this month has been awesome.
I’ve received so much freedom and so much growth has happened in that.
I’ve been stripped of things that I didn’t even know I needed to let go of,
I’ve been set free of lies that I’ve lived under my whole life.
I’ve received hard feedback that made me feel more loved and preferred than ever before.
I’ve learned how to choose joy.
I NEEDED to be secluded in this house with my squadmates.
It has not been the most glamorous of ministries at times, but His adventure is always better than any I could ever think up on my own.
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I am still in need of $3,189.38 by January 1st and I would be honored to partner with you in my less than glamorous ministry. To donate, click here.
