my life feels out of control. spinning, spinning, spinning and there is no chance to stop the madness. I walk from one meeting, to another, while answering emails, denying phone calls and fielding random questions about prescription shampoo and kitty litter.
and i wouldn’t have it any other way.
or would I?
I can’t decide. really can’t decide.
i thrive in chaos. make the best decisions as I cruise past your office and you shout a question as I keep walking. No time to think, just act on instinct. 2 phones ringing, text messages coming and never-ending stream of emails. i am at my best.
until…
until i am no longer at my best. the proverbial brick wall doesn’t feel so proverbial anymore. it just feels like a brick wall.
and i hit it last week.
i was no longer at my best. actually at my worst. slightly irrational and mildly nuts. ever been there?
i wouldn’t recommend crazy town. at. all. stay far, far away from that irrational, nutty place.
some of the best truth I have ever heard was “you have to hurt enough to change”. I think i lived that last week. change needs to happen. my schedule needs to change. my coping mechanisms need to change (ice cream anyone?). my rhythm needs to change. i am hurting enough to change. in the best possible way. really. this is good change. just wish i could figure out how to change without running headlong into a brick wall. the bump on my head is still burning…
