how does one begin a blog on disappointment?
should i type lots of verses about hope, reminding us all of the sunday school answers that american christians are so good at spouting off?
should i just be honest about the disappointment in my life? maybe bordering on raw and too honest?
should i pretend that my disappointment doesn’t exist. fake-it-til-you-make-it living?
should i remind us of all the people in the world who have it far worse than i do. i have been up close and personal with more people than i care to admit that have massive amounts of disappointment in their lives. does that nullify my disappointment? how do i even think about my little disappointment in light of their disappointment?
should i grapple publicly with the hard questions? is it ok to be honest and process and share?
honestly, i really don’t know the answers to any of those questions. but i know i am looking square in the face at some serious disappointment in my life. things that were definitely, supposed to go this way; somehow they went that way.
and i am standing here in complete bewilderment thinking “now how did THAT happen?”
i don’t have pretty little bows to wrap it up. i can’t find nice answers. i don’t want nice answers. i am tired of nice answers and the tossing out of bible verses. it reminds me of standing in the slums of Cambodia desperately trying to reconcile what i had learned in sunday school about God to the poverty, heartbreak and pain i saw in that slum. no longer do flannel-board Jesus and memorized verses somehow make it all ok.
i MUST have the revelation of the Lord in this moment. i MUST have his voice. his heart. his thoughts. his whisper. i must know what he thinks about this.
and then i read this…compliments of Max
“It’s time for you to realize disappointment is God’s way of reminding you-His creation-that you’ve invested your life into something other than Him. Things that will never live up to their expectations. After all, He created you. He wants you all to himself.”
and there it is. his voice. his thoughts. his heart. what he thinks about it.
