i love creative people. i love how they think and dress and design stuff. i really love it.
i just can’t do it. it is HARD for me to be artsy fartsy and creative. like, it takes work for me to even think that way. decorating a room or a house or a bulletin board is painful. mostly because i can identify what I want things to look like, i know what style and feel i want it to be, but i can’t make it by myself. even if you give me all the tools i will struggle to put them all together. i would rather you just do it for me. i will buy it and cheer you on while you are there doing your art, just don’t make me do it. i struggle to use scissors. really. struggle to cut things in a straight line. i am not friends with scissors, or tape, or colored paper, or glue, or that modge stuff, or anything related to paste. and i am ok with that.
until now.
Two years ago the lovely Julie Lortz scolded me in her sweet, smiley way and told me that i was creative. I argued. She told me I was made in the image of a CREATIVE GOD and that I was creative. I smiled and gently shook my head. nope, not me. not creative. but thanks for trying. She continued to argue with me and convince me I should do some painting or something. definitely not. no painting. my god! the pressure to get it all right and not mess it up would be paralyzing! i can definitely not paint! and i left it at that.
until now.
a month ago I was in the car with Sean and Jane and they went on and on telling me i could be creative. again and again with the creativity. i still just giggled and smiled and shook my head. no thanks. they have never seen my stick drawings, but it they did…it would be bad. i can be a bit of a creative storyteller maybe, or a creative communicator, but creative? nope. not me.
until now.
i sat at coffee with the amazing Melissa Helser and she showed me her creativity. I saw it ooze out of a scrapbook and was amazed. she has cute handwriting, little scraps of memorabilia from her days and fun colors. it was unique and perfect for her. and then she tried to convince me that I, too, could make sure a scrapbook. hahaha. such a funny girl. again with the smiling and nodding. and internally rolling my eyes and thinking “if they only knew about my stick figures! ha!”
but then i started to wonder. what if I did art just for me? no one needs to see it. no one needs to know it is terrible. could i move past the stressful part of art and into relaxing art if the pressure of it being public was removed? if i knew that NO ONE would ever see it? would i let the terrible, creative juices flow? would it open up new realms with Jesus? would it give Him new ways to express himself in my life. definitely got me wondering.
so i tried it.
i can promise you will never see it. so far, i have a stick horse scribbled in my journal…not sure about the new realm of Jesus we have going here, but you never know…
