An African Love Affair – Part II

 

June 5, 2007.  Myself and 25 other Jesus freaks boarded a plane from Atlanta, GA bound for Johannesburg, South Africa.

 

I was nervous at best and scared out of my mind at worst, but I was clinging to the dream.  The African dream. 

 

The dream that the minute the plane touched down angels would sing and Jesus would whisper in my ear “You’re home.”  The dream that I would find the Jesus I read about in the Bible.  The dream that all the pieces of my life would magically come together.  

 

I was in for a real treat.  And a big dose of reality.

 

Dreams are just that, DREAMS.  

 

And as I found out, some really do come true, just not in the way you think.

 

Those first three months in Africa (South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique) were some of the hardest of my life.  And I will be the first to admit probably some of my ugliest.  Sure, on the outside I was living the dream.  Read my blogs from then and you will see the best stories, great pictures and very little transparency.  But what I didn’t blog about was the real stuff.  The hard stuff.  The shattered dreams stuff.

 

I was so homesick that had there been a plane in Manzini, Swaziland I would have chartered it home.  (Thank goodness there wasn’t!).  I was so disillusioned with “missions” that I certainly didn’t see the point of me teaching 3 year olds how to count in English .  Anyone who knows me will tell you I am a terrible “bush lady”.  There was a day in Mozambique where I sat on a water jug (we didn’t have enough chairs) and cried my eyes out to Sean that I hated the bush.  I hated the dirt, the heat, the bugs, the long walks for water, just about all of it.  His response “what did you think you were signing up for?”  haha! 

We can laugh about it now, but I was flat-out miserable.  

 

I cringe when I think of our ministry time in Swazi and Mozambique.  Mostly because I was so self-absorbed and ugly.  I didn’t want to engage with teammates or locals.  I didn’t love on the kids like I could have, I didn’t pray with everyone I should have, I didn’t soak up every minute of it like I should have.  I just counted down days until it was over.  And eventually it was. 

 

On August 28, 2007 i couldn’t get on the plane bound for Thailand fast enough.  I waved goodbye to the land that had once held so much promise and excitement for me. and I didn’t shed a tear…that day.