hump months

My mom always used to get excited about Wednesdays because it was over-the-hump day. I remember being awake on many a dark wintry Wednesday morning at 6:30 A.M., groggily making my way to the kitchen table before catching the middle school bus, and waking up to “Happy hump day!” – which I never really took well as a middle schooler who hated mornings. Now, we’ve just passed the halfway point of the Race. This sixth month in Zambia marks the hump month; and actually, all three of our hump months (5, 6, and 7) are in Africa. Of course. The region with the least amount of physical comforts from home and most out-of-comfort-zone ministries. 

What these hump months have looked like for me so far is, well, not the prettiest. Even though I love our ministry and our contacts here in Zambia and I wasn’t nearly as excited about ministry in Malawi, both these months have been hard. It’s exhausting to wake up every single day (minus one off day a week) and get going, ready to greet random people in the street and tell people I’m actually not from China (please don’t yell NI HAO at me) and tell them about how much Jesus loves them. It gets to the point where I don’t believe what I’m telling them anymore because it starts sounding so trite and ridiculous. I’m physically tired and weak, got sick last week and had to go to the hospital, and sometimes I don’t feel like I’m being poured into at all so why would I be able to pour out? The World Race gets rough, people. Be fairly warned.

This isn’t at all to say that the World Race isn’t worth it, though. Looking back on the past six months, I can definitely say I’ve learned way more about God, myself, and the world than I would have if I stayed at home. And it’s only halfway over! This is just the hump. We still have five whole months left! A whole new continent, even. That’s a scary thought… but it’s also exciting. There’s still time to learn new things. There’s still time left to form new friendships and strengthen old(ish) ones. There’s still time to step into things that God is calling me into. Between months 5 and 6, our squad had a day to reunite and have a couple sessions, and I was challenged to reevaluate my Race: what are the goals I had at the beginning of the Race? How am I doing on them now? What is God asking me to step into now? It’s not too late to push into those goals… hello, we still have FIVE WHOLE MONTHS. That’s a long time. 

So at the beginning of our month here in Zambia, I decided that this would be a Race-changing month. My team also talked about how we wanted to press into new things and change our World Race environment into a place where we’d truly challenge each other. Even though we’re weary and sometimes pouring out at ministry is painful, I wanted team time to be deeper and I wanted to give more of myself to my team and my contacts. That means that I have to constantly be going back to God for my strength. It’s so hard! It’s so easy to feel empty and tired and just go to my tent and sleep. I’m trying to figure out the balance between resting and challenging myself to go deeper. I don’t know where that balance is yet, and I don’t know if I ever really will, but I want to be proud of what I’ve done and what I’ve learned on the World Race. I don’t want to be satisfied where I am. I want to keep pushing through these hump months and get to a place where I’m constantly leaning on God… even though that’s terrifying. The verse that is plastered all over our t-shirts is convicting me, and it’s becoming my prayer day in and day out. It says that the race isn’t easy. We have weight and sin, but we are to lay it aside. Let us run with perseverance and keep our eyes on Jesus.

 

-Hebrews 12:1-2