My father passed away when I was 19 while I was in my first year at college. It’s a tough topic for me, not because of his passing, but because of how our relationship was. Or more accurately, what it wasn’t. When he passed away, I just kept going and chose to focus on everything but the fact I was fatherless. Over the past several years, it’s been more difficult to deny. Especially when my sister got married. I’ve realized I’ll never have my father walk me down the aisle, know his grandkids, celebrate birthdays, holidays or even simply have a good father/daughter date.
Two months ago I was in Gainesville, Georgia for World Race training camp. We had been notified in advance that God would be doing a big work in us throughout the week, bringing up issues from the past we thought we had overcome. Let me tell you, living in denial doesn’t mean you’ve overcome a difficult situation.
One of the nights of worship we sang a song by Housefire, Good Good Father. The lyrics and music poured out truth into the room as my heart broke, tears flowed like a river and God began to do that huge work in me. The relationship that I had with my dad wasn’t going to change. Recognizing and acknowledging that truth hurt. A lot. But what I also came to understand was that I wasn’t fatherless after all, not in the least.
My earthly father has passed on but my heavenly father has never once left my side. He is perfect in all of his ways and is good. I am his daughter, loved by him. I had an identity crisis (the good kind) that evening as I really came to know who I am and who God is in relationship to me – my father. There is no love that is greater than his love for us. It is perfect, it is unconditional and free.
I want to invite you to take a moment to unplug from the world and where you are at – physically and emotionally – whether you have a fantastic relationship with your father, a terrible one or non-existent. My prayer is that you know that you are loved by a perfect father who created you, wants the best for you and loves you.
