Here I am in Chiang Mai, Thailand getting dolled up and heading out to bars in the red light district.
3 years ago getting dolled up meant strapping on heels and getting fueled up with blaring rap music, drinking wine, and texting my friends to see which bars we were going to hit up.
Now, I get ready and fueled up by blaring Spirit Break Out by Kim Walker-Smith, drinking bottled water, and praying for my bar friends and friends that I will meet tonight.
The evidence of change and change by a loving God.
You see, during my party days, I had ulterior motives for going out which God revealed to me later on in life. I had selfish motives. I often went to bars and clubs for physical and emotional gratification and to feel desired by men. I would get dolled up so then I could strut myself around men to feel beautiful. I would flirt enough to get the attention, free drinks and whatever that lead to. I was a player in the hard-to-get game. I found my worth in men and didn’t value my body. I was seeking for love in all the wrong places.
I had a sickness but was blinded to it by my selfishness.
Fast forward to now and seeing the confidence I now have in Christ and the way I’m romanced by Him has satisfied my every desire for that emotional fulfillment that I once found in men. The sacred romance with the lover of my soul brought me freedom.
Occasionally, I still fall in the area of desiring Christ’s fulfillment over that of man. I’m redeemed but I fall sometimes. As many other women, I still desire love from a Godly man that I can spend my life with which I fully believe God has for me. Along with that desire comes the possibility to fall and seek approval from those around me. Those are the times that my Jesus calls to me, “Arise My love and come with Me. My beloved daughter, you are so worthy of love and I’m jealous for your love.”
I pray a hard prayer for my friends, the women and lady boys, as well as the men who frequent the bars. Many of them have worked so long that they’ve convinced themselves or been brainwashed to “love” what they do. My prayer is that they would realize their sickness BUT they would see hope and life in us as we go out to take back what the enemy has stolen. Just as I am redeemed, I believe that God will redeem the women, ladyboys, and men that I’m meeting.
There is a Man who has already paid for you. He paid your ransom. Your debt. The word Thailand means ‘Land of the Free’. Your freedom has already been bought. Paid for with the blood of the One who has heard your secret cries and prayers.
You’re worth more. He paid more.
You are beautiful. You are not forgotten. You are seen by the One who never looked away. You are seen by Me. As I have looked into your eyes, heard your desires, your fears, I have seen such strength. You have faced such struggles, such injustice. You have been lied to, abused, overlooked, disappointed, and forgotten. You are not invisible.
Your name is not prostitute. Your name is not trafficked. Your name is not worthless.
Your name is Redeemed. Loved. Worthy. Free.
Jesus…He loves you
