This week and a half has been smooth sailing to say the least. When I first started this journey, the amount of money that I had to raise seemed daunting and unsurmountable. People often laughed at me when I told them about my trip and that I was going to sit there and ask people for money and somehow come up with 16,277 dollars. I was stressed out thinking about it. What if I ask people to raise the money and I can’t get all of the funds raised and then I forfeit what I have raised to another racer? This how trusting him thing is really difficult because there is seriously NOTHING you can do but tell people about what you are doing, why you are doing it, and pray that God softens their heart. This past week, I spoke at my church. I have been going to Bethel since I was six years old. Many of you that were unable to make it to the service have been asking about what I talked about. I will share it with you guys sometime in the near future but I gave them my testimony. For those who don’t regularly go to church, a testimony is your story about the good times, difficult times, short comings, and triumphs in your life and how god is moving through it. My pastor that I have known pretty much all my life called my name to ask me to speak. I can honestly say I have never been more nervous. My church is not a church, it is a family. There are not enough descriptive words in the dictionary to begin to describe what they mean to me and the other members of this congregation. This was the first time I had ever spoke in my home church. Sure, when I was younger I was in the church musicals and sang a song out of key and after returning home from camp, I shared what was so awesome about it. This was different. I looked around to a sea of people that were interested in what I had to say because well they knew me ever since I was born (most of them). To be honest, I think they were so interested in what I had to say because none of them ever thought that I would turn into a missionary. I wouldn’t even believe it. It’s still hard for me to say because I don’t think like I am the best equipped for this type of work. As I scanned the audience for familiar faces of encouragement, I noticed that most of them were crying. I knew what I was about to say before I even said it because I practiced it. The words I spoke didn’t faze me but the emotion my fellow family members felt started to sink in on me. Not more than a third way into what I wanted to say, tears rolled down my face. The brutal honestly of what hardships that I was telling them about were no surprise to them because well, they watched me live it. I think what hit them the most was that for once in my life I owned up to my mistakes publicly and quit acting like it was okay. I didn’t ask them for anything but prayer and to thank them for being a part of my life for so many years. Of course, my pastor asked to help me financially… That is just the person he is. The next day, my pastor told me the total amount raised and it was a good thing I was sitting. My total amount raised had doubled. I had made my first deadline.
Days kept passing by this week and I have averaged about three donations per day. I don’t say this to brag by any means. I praise God because I am only 2,000 away from being half-way funded. This was said because for the past week or so leading up to me speaking at my church, I have been full of doubt. The amount of hours that I work has gone down because I have moved home and business is slower with the kids being at school and the weather being nicer. With graduating, I had to quit my job at the school because I am no longer a student. I typically don’t get a lot of hours at my third job because I come and go a lot. Things are getting really expensive for me because I need to get some things done before I leave for my trip that are not included with the funds that I raise. Vaccinations were 300 dollars. Eye appointment was 250. I went to the dentist. My cell phone bill was high this month due to getting lost in WY. My malaria pills are supposed to be in within the next week. Passport/Visa pictures were 60. I booked my training camp flight 215. I scheduled a date to take my GRE test 200. I haven’t even ordered my contacts yet. I regrettably inform you that no I did not pay all of this; my parents are gracious human beings. My credit card is maxed and I just paid it off. NOW is the time for everyone to take out their smallest violin and start playing… BUT I am just trying to paint you a picture of the stress I have had these past two weeks that has led to my doubting. Not only have the donations been flooding in this week (Please don’t stop!) but God has provided for me personally this week. We got a new boss at my third job and people have expectantly left so I was emailed with hours for almost every single day for the month of May up until I leave for training camp. I also got my tax return back. These small praises may not seem like a whole lot but they are GIANT praises for me. This week he is constantly reminding me that his timing is perfect.
It is easier said than done but try to not force things. Take initiative and then trust in him that he will provide, help, etc. at the exact moment that you need. Trust in him that he knows what he is doing. For me personally, I am still going to struggle with the fact that I remain helpless and dependent on both your prayer and financial support but if there is anything that I have learned this week is that he is present. Whatever you are going through, trust that he will reveal himself in the most opportune moments. He will come unseen and unheard but leave a wake of wonder and awe. You will be left sitting there with no other explanation than “That was God.”
“For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him.”
-Ecclesiastes 8:6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
-Proverbs 3:5-6
