[I wrote this blog several weeks ago but never posted it. I never posted it because it wasn’t finished, I didn’t have an answer to the question God prompted. I’m starting to figure it more and more, so here is part one to something. Not sure when I’ll send out the next part, but having it out there will serve as a type of accountability.]
Let’s talk about risk. It is the possible object of an action. It is what could happen as a result of your action.
We take risks every day. When I cross the crazy streets of Asia, when I eat street food for dinner, when I give feedback to a squadmate, when I share the name of my Lord. All of these actions that I do daily carry some type of risk. When I eat street food, it could very well tear apart my insides and wreck my day. So why do I eat the street food? I weigh the reward vs. the risk. Street food is unbelievably cheap and delicious. I’m at the point in life where I believe a cheap, yummy meal is worth the risk of having a messed up stomach.
Let’s talk about reward. It is the thing that makes the risk worth it, or not. If the reward is not great enough to make the risk worth it, we tend to stay away from those actions.
During some time with the Father this week, he asked me a question that actually offended me. He asked “what risk are you taking for my name?” Ummm…hey Papa, you do realize I’m currently in Thailand, thousands of mile from my home, all because of your good name. Isn’t that a big enough risk for you?? I was flabbergasted that he would ask such a thing. I’m doing this crazy thing he called me to do and sometimes it really sucks, but I’m here doing the thing. I risked financial security. I missed seeing my nephew born. I’ve missed several weddings of friends, yet he has the nerve to ask what I’m risking?
And then my bratty prideful flesh got put right back in her place.
This is what the Father, God of all creation, King of Kings had to say about my risk:
Child, let’s look at this together. You were obedient to my call and agreed to all the risks to go on the World Race, but honey you walked onto that plane nearly 8 months ago. You don’t get to keep riding that wave. Yes, it seemed like you risked a lot to go on this journey with me. But what are you risking today?
In this moment, I felt like he was about to ask me to do something crazy like give away all my belongings (I don’t have many to begin with), or start singing in the middle of the coffee shop. So I stopped listening. I said “I hear you Father, but ya know I better get going. Chat again soon!” and packed up my journal. Ha. I’m not normally this sassy with God, but I really did fear what he was going to ask me to risk…
to be continued.
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” Psalm 32:8
