When I signed up for this crazy thing called The World Race, one of the first questions they asked me was “Will you be available to attend a mandatory 10 day training camp in October?” Even 6 months away, training camp sounded new, mysterious, and exciting. So fast forward 24 weeks and let me tell you, it was all of that and more.
Let me set the scene: 50+ tents are all set up within a few feet of each other. Everything you need for a hypothetical year packed into one large pack and one backpack. No electronics, no flushing toilets, no showers. A group of 59 people, mostly strangers, coming together as one family in record time. Training camp was 10 days of what seemed like organized chaos, but was actually divine intervention. I think that is what our lives will be like for 11 months around the globe- wearing chacos and walking through a chaotic world of divine encounters together.
We exercised a lot. Sometimes because it was required and sometimes because there you are walking up and down a hill carrying a backpack, a chair, and 50 plates from the last meal because it’s your squad’s turn to do the dishes.
We worshiped a lot too- sometimes 3 hours a day! It was wonderful. There is something about 200+ people all packed tightly in a room and singing out praises to our Heavenly Father that makes dry bones come alive.
Each day, our meals were themed, usually based on a country or continent we will be going to. One day was “Adventure” themed and I ate crickets in my eggs for breakfast and cow intestine and chicken feet for lunch. I only wished “Slimy, yet satisfying” was an accurate representation of how my taste buds felt at the time. Even so, I am so excited to try all the unique cultural cuisine everywhere we go. I already decided, “don’t knock it until you try it” is my new favorite foodie phrase.
We had morning and evening sessions that prepared us for the emotional and spiritual journey. Speakers brought the Word of God into our hearts daily, refining and sharpening us from the inside out. We fell apart at the feet of Jesus and it was beautiful. Not just two or three of us, but my entire squad offered every broken piece of who we are to our Savior and allowed Him to use our redemption in His Masterpiece.
Meeting these amazing 58 people was by far my biggest fear. “Would they like me? Would we all get along? On a scale of 1-100, how awkward will I be?” These questions and the lies of inadequacy and loneliness that quickly followed them plagued me for weeks before training camp and even on the morning of the first day. I remember lying in my sleeping bag after a pretty restless night’s sleep, staring at the top or my tent and asking God, “Hey, just one more time for good measure… you’re sure this is what you want me to do, right?” I am pretty sure I heard Him chuckle in His fatherly, If you only knew the plans I have for you, kind of way.
Looking back now, I can’t help but laugh at my doubts about this year, this wonderful family, and the path I know God so clearly called me to. A week into training camp, I officially found out the team of 6-7 who I will be living and doing ministry with starting month 1 of our trip. Every single one of my teammates challenge me and push me towards the cross in very specific and unique ways. We chose our team name to be Unsoundable which means too deep to determine the depth of. This was God’s calling on our life- to keep going deeper and growing closer because there was always more. Always more planned, always more to learn, always more purpose, always more love. Every day, I still feel God calling me deeper, calling me to walk out upon the waters with Him. He has showed me gifts and strengths I never knew I possessed. He’s called me to believe miracles will happen, and faith can move mountains. He asked me to turn over my fears, and in ten days God broke the chain of lies and insecurity the world held over me years.
On the last day, I re-read the journal entry I wrote on the first morning. It was the vulnerability and discomfort I had felt day one that allowed me to secure a freedom I didn’t know was possible. See, many of us are taught from an early age that it’s easier to pretend that a broken world does not hurt us, than to admit that it can, it does, and it’s okay not to have it all figured out. We hide everything about who we are and create a false identity based on who we think the rest of the world wants us to be. I know this because that fallacy was a prison cell I lived in for way too long. Training Camp gave me just a taste of what running towards freedom in authenticity looks like. So I made a few promises to myself this year about how I am going to use this blog to share my testimony and the truly awesome ways I know God is going to show up in the next 11 months.
I promise I am going to live authentically and write transparently about real struggles, real fears, and real daily failures. I promise I will be honest about how God is redeeming me daily and transforming my life from the inside out. I promise I will pray BIG prayers and expect God to move in BIG ways. I surrender everything- the good, the bad and the ugly- to allow Him to work in truly powerful ways. Not just in the next 11 months, but for every day thereafter.
